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THIRTY-SIX
daisies
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It has been almost a week that we returned from the hospital that day and are back in school, but things aren't normal ever since . Connor has asked me multiple times about everything but how could I even describe events that still fogged up my mind and prevented me from breathing?
Talking about it would make me cry, I was certain. So I chose my usual defense mechanism of pretending to be a cold, heartless human --- sometimes excessively rude. My parents were staying home more often these days, since Ian's mother decided to handle the business and given the situation, Ian & Iris definitely couldn't take the pressure.
My father was at his desk, typing away on his laptop, probably some balance sheet on Microsoft Excel, when I approached him with the university applications. I wish universities could do away with the norms of signing documents by parents, especially when parents were not actually doing their job. The signatures just made it feel like they had authority over us even though all they have ever done is give birth to me.
Playing the role of family seems like a useless thing to them, and I ain't complaining anymore.
"You need to put a signature here." I say curtly as my dad notices my presence.
"Oh, Vanessa...um, child, how are you? Your mother told me about Ezekiel." He let's out a sigh, sad eyes crinkled around the corners. Or maybe he's just overworked as always.
"How I am? I guess you and mother don't really have that right to ask me such questions anymore." I shrug and he shakes his head in either defeat or despair.
"Vanessa, I know it's really hard for you...." He was about to continue but I stop him by slapping the application forms on the tabletop.
"These are my college applications. They need your signature. You're just wasting time by speaking about unnecessary topics." I say, hiding the enormous teardrop that has gathered in the corner of my right eye.
"Fine, if that's what you want." He says and without a second thought, signs all of the forms. I was scared he would read the names of the universities but this morning, luck was in my favor.
"Thanks. Have a great day!" I state before marching off to my bedroom.
I needed to dress up for the funeral ceremony. Ian said he'd come to pick me up, since Iris won't be coming for obvious reasons.
The black shirt-dress lay on my bed, reminding me every second that Ezekiel Cleveland was no more. Despite everything, I prayed that wherever he was, he rested in peace.
