𝑅𝑒𝒹 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈-ᴄʜᴇɴʟᴇ

You're so Unfair~43

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Or would you love me more?
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A stagnant breath seeped from his lips, and Chenle fought back the tears in his eyes- trying to blink them away as his heart clenched within his chest.

Dark eyes gleaming silver in the dull lighting, Chenle's eyes raged with rugged, choppy waves that crashed within his irises- lightning sparking above his oceanic eyes.

Chenle pulled his knees to his chest- acting as if he was trying to take up as little space as possible; scrunch up and disappear from the world. Stomach thrashing with the pain of his memories, Chenle's heartbeat was slightly erratic as he desperately tried to slow it in fear that he would have a heart attack- breathing slowly, yet shakily as his eyes threatened to spill.

His hair fell over his face like a mask, obscuring his eyes and part of his expression as he glared at the floor beneath his feet, ashamed that a deceased girl was causing him so much anguish.

He felt inept as he spoke, unable to defend himself, and he hated the feeling with all of his heart, yet the sensation only increased as he spoke, making him feel weak.

But he didn't stop.

"After two years, she committed suicide," The boy mumbled, eyes glazing over. "Slit her wrists."

A wry scoff emerged from his throat, and he forced back his tears- the sound coming across as vulnerable.

"When you slit your wrists, you bleed out; you have plenty of time to stop your bleeding, but she didn't- she could've been saved," He murmured quietly, voice cracking. "But she fucking died."

Eyes softening as she gazed up at him, Rin watched as a tear left a silver track upon his cheek, yet he quickly wiped it away, and internally scolded himself for crying over a past situation.

"I blamed myself for that too, and I genuinely believed that it was my fault she died- my fault she wasn't happy enough to live on," He continued, his vocal chords faltering as he spoke.

Yet another tear slithered down his skin, and he drew his thumb against his cheek to rid his face of it, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

"The thing is, I still feel like she's here," He admitted, eyes narrowing. "Every time I so much as look at you, I feel like she's there- preparing to throw me from a window."

Shaking his head in disbelief at his own words, the boy's clenched fists shook with too many emotions to comprehend, and he hated the feeling.

Too much- he detested feeling any emotion at all; they were useless and a waste of mental capacity to him, yet his stomach lurched with anxiety, his heart compressed with regret, his head pounding with sadness, and his chest constricted with resentment.

It was all too much.

"I'm pathetic," He deluded, quivering eyes unable to meet Rin's.

Rin's eyes narrowed at his self-deprecating comment, and she sternly pointed a finger at him- pursing her lips together.

"Don't say that, you're amazing," She seethed out, her austere face warning him not to challenge her.

Sniffling back any heart-wrenching sounds that threatened to force themselves from his throat, Chenle's head fell to the side, displaying his brimmed eyes with doubt, as if to say 'really? You're serious?.'

Her chocolatey eyes remaining serious, she nodded harshly to assure him of her sincerity, yet he wasn't convinced, but didn't argue.

"You hold your team together, you know," She assured, and Chenle's eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"I almost killed th-"

"They need someone calm and stable in their life," She interjected, a languid tugging making her lips twitch upwards as she spoke, "Your line of work is chaotic and crazy, so your eternal blank face is reassuring."

Scoffing lightly, he shook his head in denial.

"They would be fine without-"

"You're hard working, strategic, a hell of a gunslinger, brave, and you can withstand high-pressure situations," She countered, her words becoming more confident, "They'd be lost without you."

His eyes following the flailing finger that she waved in front of his face to emphasize her point, the boy sighed in defeat, but pondered the reality of her words; surely she didn't mean it.

"And- if it's any consolation- you're pretty good-looking too..." She admitted, eyes falling to the ground.

Cheeks warming slightly, the girl tried not to make her subtle blush noticeable, but her attempts were futile as Chenle averted his gaze- his ears suspiciously a reddish hue.

Shaking off her minimal embarrassment, the girl continued her rant about his sublime features.

"You go through so much with a straight face- without complaint- and I think that's really admirable. Just because something happened that you had no control over doesn't mean your pathetic, it makes you strong," She uttered, giving him a soft, delicate smile, "I know I sound cheesy, but own it, because you are nothing less that incredible."

Eyes raking over Rin's face in search of a lie, Chenle's eyebrows knitted together as bemusement filtered through his heart as he only found sincerity in her expression.

At a loss for words, the boy pressed his lips together as he ran a hand through his hair, huffing a breath out from his nose.

As if on cue, a soft knocking sound echoed into the room, making Rin jump in surprise.

"Are you coming back to the living room? We could use you out here, Chenle," Taeyong's voice called from outside the door.

"Yeah-" He cleared his throat as his voice proved faulty, "-Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

"Told you they need you," Rin murmured quietly, obtaining a skeptical glance from Chenle.