Outerbanks "falling in love"

Chapter 44- I lost you too

Chapter 44- I lost you too

Song-

Let me down slowly

By; Alec Benjamin

Maddi's Pov-

Suddenly all of my senses come back to me. My legs stiffen. I quickly turn around into the partly lit hallway and rush outside. I pass the various messes strewed across of the house as I walk through the door. It slams behind me. My legs move as fast as they can. My mind keeps replaying the image of JJ ontop of the girl in my head. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I swear you probably could've heard my heart rip in half from the mainland at the sight of them. JJ kissed me today and less than 3 hours later was hooking up with another girl. I don't know what I expected but I thought maybe we still had a chance. Maybe he still loved me like I love him. But those thoughts just flew out of the window.

I see the girl run outside and get into a rental car. She quickly pulls off as JJ stumbles out of the door chasing after me. I pick up my pace trying to get to the car in time.

"Maddi! Maddi, just stop please!" He begged. I ignore him, only a few feet away from the van by now.

"Just let me explain!" He pleads. I whip around to look at him. His eyes mirror regret. I almost break my hard exterior for a second but keep it up crossing my arms across my chest.

"Explain what?! that looked pretty clear as day to me!" I shout. Anger ran through my viens, you could practically see the steam coming out of my ears. He stays silent not knowing what to say. His porch light and the moon were our only source of lighting. He doesn't respond.

"Exactly. That's what I thought" I say cooly running my tongue against my teeth. I go to turn away but he speaks up causing me to freeze in my spot.

"I don't even know what your problem is! It's not like we're together!" He sneered at me. His words hit me like a ton of bricks. As if the air was knocked out of me. I wanted to be with him more than anything but because of my dumb*ss we can't. It hurt even more knowing it's all my fault.

"Then why the hell did you kiss me earlier?! Got bored of your tourons or something?" I bellowed. My words hurt me more than him which wasn't the intent. He faced me with anger and frustration written all over his face.

"I wasn't the one who ended this" He motions between us with his hands taking a step closer. "That was all you"

All me. It's funny how most time we are the cause of our own pain. Even though I was trying to protect myself I ended up hurting myself more in the end. I wanted to protect my heart, I wanted to protect JJ from anymore hurt. But here we are. Screaming at eachother in his yard at 12 o'clock at night.

Karma really is a b*tch

"I was mourning JJ!" I hissed. " I just lost John b. I just lost my brother" I try to explain to him hoping he'll understand. Instead it does the oppisite. Raking his hand through his hair he takes a step back. Inhailing deeply.

"And you don't think I wasn't mourning?" He sighed. "You don't think I didn't loose him too? That I was completely broken after?" My heart aches. All this time I've been to focused on myself to realized that JJ lost his family too. I move closer to him and try to grab his wrist. He doesn't let me. As I move close enough I see his red rimmed eyes. He sniffle trying to keep his saddness inside.

"JJ" I whisper this time grabbing his wrist he doesn't pull away. When I whisper his name his eyes meet mine. Tears pool both of our eyes. Both of us holding them back trying to be strong for eachother.

"When- when you broke up with me I didn't just loose John b" He pauses. " I lost you too" If my heart didn't rip in half earlier it did now. Hearing the words leave his mouth made me want to crumble right there. But instead I stayed strong.

I hurt him. Without even meaning to. I wanted to protect the both of us but here we are. Two broken souls trying to put the pieces back together. Maybe we needed eachother to put the pieces back together. JJ needed me to put his pieces back together. So that's exactly what i'm going to do. I Jumped up wrapping both arms around his neck. His body stayed stiff as I tightened my grip around him.

"I'm here, I promise. And I promise you won't loose me again" I whisper rubbing his back. The words I said was his push. He melted into my embrace, wrapping his arms around my waist. I gripped tighter. His scent engulfed me. I felt a couple warm tears slip from his face and land on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry- i'm so sorry" I mutter into the crook of his neck. His arms still wrapped around my waist. He tightens his grip on me as I rub up and down his back.

"It's okay, I forgive you" He reassured. We pulled apart still in eachothers in-brace. We stare into eachothers eyes. His ocean blue eyes that I could drowned in meet mine. I try to read his expression but it's unreadable. He lets go of my waist but moved his hand to my hips. His finger press into the farbric into my shorts as he rubs tiny circles in my hips. The gesture alone made my heart flutter.

I bite my bottom lip as anxiety takes over me. An old habbit i've had since we've been kids. Overthinking was something I did a lot... who am I kidding? I still do. And one of my biggest tells was biting my lips.

JJ noticed as he let go of my hips. He brought one hand to the side of my face. His hand carresed my jawline as he cupped it. He brought up his other hand and lightly pulled my lip from under my tooth. I stood there staring at him like a deer stuck in headlights. My heart was pounding out of my chest as he moved his hand to cup around my other cheek. He lifted my head up to where our lips were only an inch apart. One move. One move and they would be connected.

I waited a few second. Our breathing and cricket were the only sounds to be heard. I looked into his eyes realizing that he wanted me to make the first move. He wanted to make sure I wanted this. So that exactly what I did. I stood on my tip toes lightly. Our lips met and once again it felt as if I was whole. He moved one hand to the small of my back pulling me closer. The other layed on my jawline. His thumb rubbed up and down my cheek. My arms were still wrapped around his neck. My finger intertwined with his blonde locks. A feeling errupts in my heart.

Happiness. Real happiness.

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