signa
"it's my fault he's in the hospital." i sobbed into my pillow, feeling mads rub my back, comforting me. "signa, it's not your fault. stop saying that. he chose to do this to himself, because he fucked up but he will be okay! none of it is your fault, okay?" mads said, as i looked up at her. she was right, it's not my fault, but i felt so shitty.
"you're right, thank you mads." i said, wiping the tears away from my face. she gave me a sweet smile, "i know you must be feeling horrible but listen to me, everything will be okay soon. he will be okay, but you need to focus on yourself and your mental state." mads said, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. i nodded, knowing she was right.
i love chase, i will always love him but i need to do what's best for me. i need to focus and take care of myself. "you're the best." i said, she awed, "no you are. you and jaden are. i am so glad that both of you two are in my life. i consider you one of my best friends and i just want to make sure you're okay!" mads explained, as i smiled. she really is such an angel. i'm so glad jaden found her.
"i am so glad jaden found you, wow!" i said, starting to feel a little better but can't help but feel worried. i hope chase is alright.
"and i'm so glad you're jaden's best friend. normally i'd have a problem with girls close with my boyfriend, but you're so different and i have no worries whatsoever!" mads said. "aw yay!" i said.
mads and i talked a bit more. she told me that they wanted me to try and come visit chase but i couldn't see him yet. i really couldn't. so for the time being, mads and i invited avani and addison over after they both visited chase and hung out for awhile.
we ended up baking brownies and chocolate chip cookies. "these came out so good!" addison said, tasting the brownies. "same with the cookies!" avani said. "yay!" mads and i cheered. "we'll leave them out for the boys when they get home. do you want to take some home with you guys?" i asked, as addison and avani nodded.
"yeah, sure. thank you." addison said, as i walked over to the cabinet to get ziplock bags. "of course. there is so many." mads said, as we laughed. "yeah, the boys are gonna have a feast with these." avani said, causing us to laugh even more.
"oh hell yeah." i said, putting some brownies and cookies in the bag and handed them to addison. "i had a good time, thank you guys for coming over to make sure i was okay and hanging with mads and i." i said, smiling. addison and avani came over, giving me hugs. "we love you and want you to be okay. we're always here for you." avani said.
"yeah, seriously. call or text us any time and we're on our way or come over any time. your room is still there." addison said, as i pouted. i did miss living in the hype house and the people there. they were my family, besides sway.
"thank you guys. so much. i'll be over eventually." i promised. we talked a little more, then mads and i hugged them goodbye.
"the boys are on their way back." mads said, looking at her phone. i nodded, already knowing they were gonna bring up chase and ask if im okay.
"okay." i said, walking over to the couch and sitting down with mads following behind and sat besides me. as we waited for the boys, we watched some tv.
the front door opened, and first to show was jaden. he instantly made eye contact with me, pouting. he walked over to me, his arms opened. i couldn't help but tear up. i walked over to him and hugged him. "chase is okay, he's staying the night then leaving to go back home tomorrow. but, i'm sorry bug." jaden whispered, kissing the top of my head. it made me feel less shittier knowing chase was okay but i stayed silent, needing the comfort from my best friend.
i heard the rest of the boys come in, "group hug!" josh yelled, suddenly all the boys started squishing me into jaden causing me to laugh. "oh my god." i yelled, but it was muffled because i was pressed up against jaden's chest.
"i can't breathe assholes." i yelled, laughing. everyone laughed and letting go. "we love you sig." bryce said, coming over to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. bryce was seriously like a big brother to me. honestly, all the guys were. i don't know what i'd do without them.
"i love you guys, too."
••••
chase is okay!
what do you think about signa & mads friendship? i love it.
anyway..
thank you for the all the love and support. it means the world! 💘
always here to talk. <33
