con bravura acceso - twoset one shots

XLVIX. ashes by Hilary Hahn and Hauschka

Eddy Chen recalls the most recent late night practice session of Brett Yang. The truth behind Brett's practice session fueled with multiple emotions.

warnings: expletives, fluff and too true for all you fellow musicians out there.

Eddy's POV

He was standing in our room, hair sticking up in all directions and he has two cups of coffee next to him. He was holding his violin in place, his back was straight and he fixed technical things for his playing. Brett was trying to practice Ysaye no. 2, the one entitled as obsession.

He now looks frustrated, his intonation is all over the place and his first sightread is not what he expected. This piece was a bit harder than he had expected. He played it again, after a few tries, he was starting to feel better about his playing. It sounds more in tune, his bow control is better and his intonation and vibrato was better than ever. He sighed contentedly and had his signature smirking and concentrated face on.

A few minutes pass by, he locked himself up in our office. Leaving me alone in our bedroom to tend to the cups of coffee he left. I grabbed them and washed them in the sink, knowing that he'll be too tired to do it after his practice session. This is entirely normal for us. This is how our unruly schedule and 'routine' works. Even if we don't actually have a routine, I'm lucky if he decides to practice in our bedroom instead of the office.

When he practices, it's such a vulnerable and important moment for him. For me, too, of course. It's a tender time for musicians to improve and get better. When he practices, it's mesmerizing to watch his face switch from one emotion to another.

He could go from smiling triumphantly when he gets a phrase or bar right to looking at the violin as if he hates its existence. It reminds me of how behind his beautiful and unearthly playing is a human who has to get better by practicing.

You see, dating a musician is one hell of a ride. They devote a lot of their time to practice and get better on their craft. They mostly don't have time for other things but once you see how much they've improved, you will feel satisfied. They're also really forgetful, especially if the only thing they have in their mind is practice.

Sometimes, Brett can't grasp time properly. He wouldn't see how much the time had passed by or whether today was a Tuesday or a Wednesday but he always remembered the important dates. Most of the time, he forgets the world around him when he is inspired.

From experience, I know why musicians are deemed forgetful. We're all too busy thinking about the important things. Like how we're supposed to interpret a piece, or how to phrase at a certain bar or how to improve tone quality or how to perfect bow technique. Also, we remember more important things when it comes to our loved ones.

Brett remembered exactly when we met and I remember exactly what he wore when we met. I know the cologne he used on our first date and he knows that I've been using the same shampoo brand for approximately four years now. He remembers our first kiss, how it tasted sweet and soft and I remember what his skin felt like under my calloused fingertips. What we both remember so well is how we both said "I love you." In the same timbre and the same amount of love. We remember that we're both lucky that we fell in love with our best friend.

He's beautiful and I can't lie about it. I won't sugarcoat him, though. He had shut me down multiple times during practice sessions and inspired moments. He doesn't always do things for us but he tries to. He becomes more aware, he opens up more and we talk about what we have to talk about. He sometimes loses his temper easy and he forgets to fix his dishes sometimes. He does cook for me and doesn't bother me when I'm the one practicing.

Musicians, they do love more passionately than other people do. They are easily contented and know how efforts pay off. They know hard work and they appreciate the little things as much as the major things. Musicians love more and become happier with love.

I'm only lucky because I have Brett. Brett will always be himself, no matter how perfect or imperfect he is on other people's eyes. I'm just glad that Brett is by my side no matter what happens. I'll be with him, too.

I hear him pack away his violin after a long and frustrating practice session. He lied down on the bed next to me and cuddled me.

"Do you want a back massage?" I asked, knowing that his back is probably painful.

"If you don't mind. I'll make it up to you." He said, removing his shirt.

I straddled his butt and grabbed lotion to rub his back. I massage the tense muscles as I feel him relax underneath me. After a few minutes, I find that he's already asleep. I get off of him, put a blanket over us and I cuddled him back into his place.

He's still fast asleep and I fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing.