con bravura acceso - twoset one shots

LV. violin and piano sonata no. 5 "spring sonata" by Ludwig van Beethoven

Brett Yang was always reminded by Eddy Chen that he only saw him as a brother. He had learned to avoid getting hurt every time Eddy does it but it always comes back to haunt him. It hurt Brett but he just decided not to say anything about it because he didn't want his best friend to feel guilty. He just lets it be but people have limitations. What happens if he had reached his limitations?

warnings: primarily angst but good and fluffy ending

Brett's POV

I. The first time I hear it is when I was seventeen and he was sixteen. It was the moment where I realized that I wanted to be more than that to him.

Belle was always curious about what our relationship really was. I was not sure but Eddy was not hesitant about his answer.

"Belle, Brett and I are just best friends. In fact I would even say that we're like brothers." He said confidently, not realizing how much he broke my heart every single time he let the words slip out of his mouth effortlessly.

"Are you sure that there will be nothing more?" Belle asked again, I sensed that she knew something.

"Of course we are. Right, Brett?" He asked innocently. I felt my throat dry up and my heart shattered into thousands of pieces.

"Yeah." I managed to croak out without it sounding weak.

"Okay then, Edward. If you say so." Belle said, quietly mouthing an apology as she left the room.

Why do I want to be more than just a brother to you, Eddy? Why can't you see me the way I see you?

Still, I push the thoughts away where they will never resurface again. If Eddy only saw me that way, then I just have to respect that it will only be that in his eyes. I wouldn't be lying if I said that it wasn't the most painful thing I had ever heard from Eddy.

II. It has probably been a hundred times when I heard it by the time I am twenty-two, but this time it was to reassure his girlfriend of two years.

"Baby, I told you. Brett's my best friend, and he's like my brother at this point." Eddy said, coaxing his girlfriend into what he believed is real.

"Really, Eddy? You want me to believe that brothers look at each other like that?" She asked, voice filled with disbelief.

It was wrong to listen to them but it was not my fault. They were arguing in the living room and my room is near it. So, it really is just Eddy that does not see it. Oh, well. I guess he strictly just sees me as a brother. I'll just pretend again that I'm okay with it. I don't want him to feel guilty of my selfishness.

"Look at each other like what? Like lovers? I don't look at anyone like that but you and you alone!" Eddy argued, voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

"Eddy my love, you're not just lying to me but yourself. If you're done convincing yourself of the lies you're spilling, come to my apartment and grab your things that you left there. I don't want to compete for your love, especially one that's still alive." She said as she left, closing the door behind her.

I feel guilty knowing that it's probably my fault why they broke up and why Eddy was crying on the other room. It takes a lot of strength to get up from my bed to comfort him. I put him on our couch and give him water. Nothing much was said but I know it's better if he cried.

I wanted to do the same thing, cry out loud, sob, wail, cry until my hands are numb and mourn the loss of my love. I do not do that, though. I instead hold the love of my life doing those very things and try so hard not to give in to what I feel. I could feel a confession form in the back of my throat but I swallow the lump down as if it was my pride.

Edward Chen will never see me as a lover.

Is the only coherent thought on my mind as I feel the tears run down on my neck. The realization has been coming for a long time but it still hurts. Reality does slap you harder than a person can. Believe me when I tell you that reality is a much more painful type of ache than any physical beating.

III. By this time, I had heard him tell me and other people the very same words and meant it all the time. I am now twenty-seven but it still hurts every time he says it.

"But Belle, it can't be. Brett's only a brother to me. This can't be happening to me." Eddy said, distressed about something as he was calling his sister about it.

I have such terrible timing on everything. Maybe it's the universe's way of telling me that Eddy will always see me as a brother. Way to go world, thanks for crushing my hopes and dreams. My next life better be a good one if this lifetime of mine will only give me affliction.

I heard him hang up the phone. I don't know why but something inside me snapped when I saw his face. I feel like once I start talking I might never stop. I avoid it so that I wouldn't hurt his feeling.

He sat down next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. He held my hand and in that moment, I knew that that something inside me snapped is triggered. What I'm about to say next might only break us.

"Eddy, please don't." I said calmly, removing our interlocked hands.

"Don't what? I'm not doing anything."

"That's exactly the point, you're not doing anything. Eddy, I know that you only see me as a brother but I never knew that I was that hard to love as something more. I mean, I know that I'm not the most attractive or smart person out there but am I really that terrible of a person that you couldn't see me as a lover?" I said, not caring about anything anymore.

"Brett, I-"

"No. Let me finish. All these years, you always saw me as a brother. I know it's not the place that I want in your life but is it really that impossible for you to love me back? It sounds so selfish but why can't you just love me the way I love you so I don't have to live with this constant longing and ache for you-"

I was cut off my soft lips pressing against mine. It took me a bit of time to process what was happening but I kissed back. The years of hidden feelings were now being unraveled. He pulled away and looked me directly in my eyes.

"I love you. I've only discovered that about a year ago and I'm sorry. I never knew that you felt that way for me and if I would've known I would go for it. Now that I do, I just want to say that I love you so much." Eddy said, crying as much as I was.

IV. The millions of times that he told me I was just a brother to him, he didn't mean at least five hundred of them.