con bravura acceso - twoset one shots

XLVI. love dance from romeo and juliet, op. 64 by Sergei Prokofiev

Brett Yang recalls a conversation with an ex almost lover. He thanks the stars above that he and Eddy Chen ended up together.

warnings: expletives, fluff and a bit of angst

Brett's POV

"This is why I do it." I said.

"No."

"No?" I asked.

"No..." He continued.

"Why no?"

"Because it's more like 'this is why I did it.'"

"Why?" I asked again, really not knowing what to do.

"Because I can feel the way you move. I know that you don't love me anymore. Because I know that there is someone else." He said, voice entangled with sadness and longing.

"Why are you upset? It's not like we were ever together. You made me hold onto an empty promise. It's not like you'll lose me." I said, anger clouding my thoughts, but kept calm and held my composure.

"I will lose you and I know it." He said, voice is determined.

"What's there to lose if you've already lost yourself? It's not like you like me too." I said, knowing what it will make him feel.

"But what if I do?"

"Then you're too late. He's already by my side."

"How sure are you that he'll stay with you?"

"He doesn't have to stay with me. God know you didn't."

"But I can treat you right."

"After all that? No, thank you."

"I can prove myself. What can he do, huh?"

"Not hurt me. Because you did. He can stay, he can have me. He'll never say no to me. He can put up with me. He can cope with me. Best of all, he can have me. He can do a lot more, you know. Don't underestimate him. Frankly, if I compared you to him, you'd be nothing." I spat out, not caring about what he might feel anymore.

"Do you know what you're risking here?"

"Yes, and honestly, even if he doesn't love me, I'll love him enough for the both of us."

"You are being profoundly stupid right now." He said, emphasizing the words.

"Well, not as stupid as before. I used to think that we could've been something, but it was just me. Just like all the feelings. It. Was. Just. Me. And nothing, nothing could be stupider than what I had with you."

"Darling, this is your last chance."

"Then be it. I don't want you anymore."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'm easy to talk to."

"If you're going then go! I'm not going through that again. I'm not the same piece of shit to fall for that again."

"If it says so."

"It? So, I'm an object now?"

"No, I meant destiny." He said, fiddling with his hands. "Goodbye, Brett." He continued looking me in the eye, as if nothing happened.

"Goodbye, you asshole." I said and smiled at him.

"For the record, I was just testing you. Still friends, right?" He took his hand out and I shook it.

"Of course. You made me nervous. I might love him, too..." I said, a smile playfully crawling on my lips as I thought of Eddy.

"I know, Brett Yang. I know it all too well." He smiled back, ruffling my hair and pulled me in for a hug.

"Brett!" Eddy said, snapping his fingers on my face.

"Huh? What?" I asked back.

"I've been calling you for the past five minutes. Are you okay?" He said, voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine. Just remembered something." I said, trying to dismiss the conversation.

Eddy went to me and hugged me from behind. I melt into the hug and he starts kissing my neck.

"You can tell me. You don't just snap out of reality that hard." He said, resting his head on my back.

"I just remembered a conversation with an ex almost lover? I don't know. I just remembered it." I said, holding his hand.

"It must've been important." He said, rubbing his head on my back.

"It was. I just remembered how he was offering his love but I still chose yours. Even if you didn't love me like that, that time." I said, grazing the skin of his arms with the pads of my fingertips.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it that time." He whispered, voice laced with guilt.

"That was actually the plan. I was scared to lose you before." I said, reminiscing the pain of all that.

"You never would've lost me, you know. You are so important to me, I just haven't realized it that time."

"What matters is that I love you and you love me back. I'm really happy on where we are now." I said, putting his hand on my lips, kissing his knuckles.

"Me too, Brett. Me too." He said, leaning more into the hug.

This is one of the moments where I'm glad that I fought for my love for him. I don't know what I'd be or what I'd do if I lost him. All I know is, even if he's gone, my feelings won't easily fade away.