All Up In My Head [Completed]

00 Him, Part I

Him, Part I

"Gising na po. 6AM na! Male-late ka na naman. Kain-kain din bago training."

The first thing that I saw in the morning was her face on the screen, her shoulders slouching and her eyes rolling. I always thought that it's adorable when she gets comfortable with me. Hindi alam ng iilan na may pagkamakulit si Lila. I was one of the lucky people to witness her wackiest laugh.

"Hindi na kita ima-myday. Ang daming nagtatanong sa'kin," she said one day.

But I want her to. Ano bang paki ng iba? Hindi ko maintindihan ang ibang tao kapag tinatanong nila ako kung bakit si Lila. Ang sagot ko sa kanila, "Bakit hindi?"

"Mag-lunch ka naaa. Huwag mo na kong hintayin. Matagal dismissal namin."

Lila was not always vocal with her emotions. She's a puzzle, hard to figure out. But that's her charm. She doesn't give people access to herself. Siguro iyon ang dahilan kung bakit parati akong dinadala ng aking paa patungo sa kanya.

"Email ko sayo 'yong revised ver. Your paper is so good. Kung hindi to mananalo, the panelists will lose someone brilliant."

She always believe in people. Kahit pa ilang beses na siyang nasaktan. Wala akong ibang gustong gawin kundi alagaan siya. To remind her everyday, how incredible she is.

"Sorry talaga. Nagpa-vid ako kay Pat ng game mo para mapanuod ko. Sana pumunta ako. Hindi naman pala ako nakapag-report."

Every game she makes sure to be there. Walang kaso sa'kin ang isang absent niya. Ang swerte ko na nga na pinaglaanan niya ako ng oras sa dami niyang ginagawa araw-araw. She's a constant dean's lister at scholar ng university. Tell me, if that's not an ideal girl, I don't know what is.

"I love your ash gray hair but not enough for me to color mine the same thing. Hayaan na lang natin ating mga scalp. Pero seryoso, bagay talaga yon sayo. Iba ang dating."

I must admit, medyo na-tempt akong ibalik ang kulay na iyon. Kaso pagtatawanan lang ako ng mga siraulo kong pinsan. Palaging mukambibig nila ang pagiging in love ko kay Lila and how cringey I was. Masama bang maging showy sa nararamdaman ko? It's the first time that I've felt this way and I want to go all in.

"Sino ba yong coach na nang-aaway sayo? May dayaan din pala sa swimming. Kainis. Pwede ba mag-iwan ng review sa kanila? Don't be upset, ikaw talaga ang panalo don eh. Kahit di ka panalo, first ka naman sa puso ko."

"Please, forget that I sent the last part."

"Take care of yourself. Huwag pa-pressure sa acads ha. Tsaka sa susunod na lang kayo maglaro ni Tommy. Naiintindihan naman non. Alam kong pagod ka kaya. Rest well, Ewan ko."

Her texts always give me life. With Lila, I can be patient. With her, I feel that I'm a better person.

"Sorry, may pagkatanga ako. Pero gusto talaga kita. Feeling ko mas higit pa doon. Sorry di ko masabi nang harapan. Basta ikaw lang talaga. Soon, I'll gain enough courage to say these things in front of you. Please be patient with me. Kahit nakakainis ako minsan. Sana di ka magsawa sa pag-intindi. Sana di ka umalis." She recorded that and sent it to me late at night.

She's cute when she does that. Naiintindihan ko. Hindi ganon kadali magpapasok ng ibang tao sa kanyang buhay. I'm only intruding. I was a stranger that she laid eyes to.

"Pwede mo nang diligan ang halaman. Huwag isali ang leaves please para hindi mag-stain. May pink princess kami. Bigay ko na lang sa mommy mo."