All Up In My Head [Completed]

30 Another Day

Another Day

"Lila, don't do this, please?" pagmamakaawa nito.

Marahan niyang hinawi ang kamay ng binata.

"Sorry, hindi ko pa pala talaga kayang mag-commit." Mahina siyang tumawa. "Magkikita pa naman siguro tayo. Someday, tatawanan na lang natin 'to," she said.

It sounded like an excuse but it pained her. The thought of him loving someone else. He will drive another girl anywhere. He will cook for her. He will gaze the night skies with her. He will take her on an incredible adventure. But she won't be that girl anymore.

"Pero baka iba na ang kasama mo," ika nito.

"Baka maunahan mo pa nga ako," she tried to joke but he didn't laugh.

They were standing there. The rain finally stopped. Everything dawned at them. The reality, what she chose to be.

"Aalis ka na talaga? Hindi na talaga kita mapipigilan?"

No, this is the right thing for us.

She shook her head and whispered, "I'm sorry." Her eyes drowning in tears.

"Lila, please—" he begged and begged.

She smiled for one last time. "The last few months have been a great escape.”

And left the man who did nothing but to love her.

Thank you for the love you gave to me, an undeserving woman, your words were the sincerest, your kisses were the truest and you're my most painful goodbye.

She wanted to look back. She wanted to take back what she said. She wanted to be just in his arms. She wanted to feel his warm lips against hers. She wanted to run away and paused everything.

Isa... Dalawa... Tatlo...

Wala pa ring nagbago. Nagpatuloy siyang umalis. Pinandigan ang kanyang mga salita. Iniwan ang kanyang mahal. Dinurog ang kanyang puso. Para sa kanino nga ba ito? Sa kanya? Sa kanila? Hindi niya na alam.

“Dalhin mo ‘to doon para may pang-snacks ka.”

Nakahanda na ang kanyang mga bagaheng dadalhin. Isang maleta at hand carry. Doon niya na lang planong bumili ng damit. Ngunit sinigurado niya nang may pampalit siya sa lahat ng season.

Isinilid ng kayang mamang ang iilang pagkain sa ka kanyang bag. Hindi niya sigurado kung pwede pa iyong dalhin. Baka masita pa siya sa security.

“Ang dami naman niyan, mang. Baka extra na sa baggage ‘yan," aniya saka tumawa.

“Kaysa naman magutom ka," ika nito.

Dinala niya rin pati ang kanyang basic na pocket size book sa Japanese na lenggwahe. Sa totoo lang ay excited na siyang pumunta doon. Hindi niya inakala na darating pala ang araw na ito.

May takot siyang naramdaman. Siguradong mami-miss niya ang pamilya at nakagisnan. Inisip niya na lang ang maaari niyang makuha pagkatapos ng graduate school. Mas marami pang opportunities. Mas marami pang chances na makatulong sa kanyang mamang.

At ang kanyang mga naiwang tanong sa isipan ay magkakaroon na ng kasagutan.

There's a possibility that she might not like the reason. There's a possibility there might not be a reason at all. And all of these pain and sacrifices were for nothing. But she will never know the answers unless she takes the leap of fate.

She looked at her checklist again. Mahirap nang may makalimutan. Her things, her itinerary, her list of contacts and personal documents. Everything is ready. Wala na siyang nakalimutan. Pero bakit parang may kulang?