Expecting The Unexpected

CHAPTER 47: I am Sorry Xander

EVELINE KNIGHT

We were now in the car heading for home. I didn't dare to look at Xander even once. He was fuming with anger. I could feel his jaw tightening, his tight grip on the steering wheel. I was still holding the statue in my hand tightly. Tears were continuously streaming down from my cheeks. I was biting my lip trying my best to not make any noise.

I can't stay like this.

I opened my mouth to say it "X-Xander-" but he cut me off.

"Not a word Ev." He growled which made me quiet again.

After we reached home he got out of the car I didn't make any move. He came to my side and opened the door taking off my seatbelt he said "Out." I quickly got out of the car.

He again held my hand in his tightly and dragged me inside. When we reached the bedroom. He left my hand and turned around.

This time his eyes were different. His eyes showed an emotion of...... defeat? I could see tears in his eyes, his eyes were red. Whatever has happened so far I have never seen tears in Xander's eyes before.

What have I done? I hate myself for doing this to him.

"Why are you like this Ev? You love to make me feel helpless. Don't you?" he said in a broken voice.

Xander please don't let your tears fall I will never be able to forgive myself.

"I am tired Ev. I am so tired of feeling this fear everyday. The fear to lose you. But you won't understand that." He paused for a moment then said "Blake was right I should tell you everything maybe knowing that you'll have some pity on me and stop with your carelessness."

"X-Xander I-I am really sorry." I said in a low voice but enough for him to hear it.

"How many times are you going to say sorry for your mistakes when you don't even mean it."

I looked down. "Everything was fine when you were not there in my life. I wish you would've never came in my life."

Listening to him my heart shattered into millions of pieces. I couldn't believe what he just said.

I can take everything but not this Xander.

"Why? Just because one girl cheated on you doesn't mean you'll lose everyone."

"It's not about just cheating Ev. It's much more than that. It was my mistake that I thought I can start a new life with you that I can love you. But I was wrong."

Why is he saying these things? Why can't he understand that his each and every word is killing me.

"I don't want to experience that fear again. Fear of losing someone."

"Why are you saying these things Xander? I promise I won't ever do it again." he looked away and was ready to leave when I held his hand.

"You wanted to know about my past. Let me tell you everything." He sat on the couch and I was standing in front of him. He rubbed his face with his hands once and took a deep breath.

"Blake and me, we were best friends. Not only us but Evan and" he closed his eyes for a moment then again opened them, his eyes were red. "Mason too."

Mason? Who is he?

"We all were in the same college in Australia, we always stayed together and we were always with each other in times of needs. We were like the most famous guys in our college."

"You already know everything about Blake and Evan. Let me tell you somethings about Mason." He paused and smiled to himself.

"Mason was different from us. He always stayed engaged with his studies. He was the most innocent one while our lives were filled with girls, parties, sex. He never came with us to any parties he said he hated parties. You know I loved spending time with him. We would always go to his house and have fun there together. He was everything for me just like you are now. His smile, I don't know I could do anything to see that smile on his face. Just like yours. He was my best friend, my brother. He had some breathing problems, sometimes he couldn't sleep alone I would go to his house and stay with him the whole night. Our bond was so strong that no one could break that ever." He was still smiling while saying these things.