History

Is this goodbye?

⚠️T.W⚠️ mentions of addiction and rehab
————————————————————————I handed the keys to my apartment to my landlord after packing all my stuff up.
I shut the door and put the boxes in my car.
I knew where I had to go first.
I drove to Shays grave
I placed the flowers I had bought on her gravestone.
"Hey Shay, I miss you a lot. Um I just wanted to come and let you know that I'm getting clean. For good this time. I love you Shay."
I sat there in silence for 10 minutes, then I said my goodbyes and drove to the firehouse.
"Hey guys."
"Everything ok Severide?"
"Yeah I'm good." I flashed a smile at them.
I walked into Chief Bodens office.
"Everything ok Sophia?"
"No. I've been lying to you. I have been taking medication that I don't need. The test came back clean because I didn't take any the day I took the test or the day before. I'm leaving Chicago to go to rehab."
"Well thank you for being honest with me. I'm proud of you. If you ever come back you will always have a spot at 51."
"Thank you Chief."
I gave him a hug.
"I don't have the heart to tell everyone what's going on. Could you tell them after you give out morning assignments?"
"Of course I can Sophia."
"Thank you Chief."
I smiled as I walked out to my locker.
As I was cleaning out my locker Kelly and Gabby walked in.
"Did you get fired?" Gabby asked.
"Uh no. I'm leaving Chicago. I'm going to get rehab."
"Are you gonna come back to Chicago?"
"I don't know Kelly."
"Hey please stay safe wherever you go. I love you Sophia."
"I love you too Kelly. And I love you Gabby. It's just losing Shay was my breaking point. Please stay safe while I'm gone I don't want to have to come back because you guys got hurt in a fire."
"Never."
I hugged them both and they helped me clean out my locker.
I found a picture of me,Shay, Gabby and Kelly and put it in my pocket.
I wiped the tears off my face and grabbed the box that my stuff was in.
"I guess this is goodbye?"
"I guess so."
I hugged them both one more time and walked out to my car. I had one last place to go.
—
I walked into the 21st district.
"Hey Trudy."
"Hey Sophia! Nice to see you."
She smiled at me and I smiled back.
"Is Jay here?"
"Yeah he's on desk duty so he's up there doing paper work, the rest of intelligence is gone."
"Could you buzz me up?"
"Of course."
"Thank you Trudy."
She walked up the stairs with me.
"Go ahead I got it from here."
She nodded at me and walked downstairs.
"Hey Jay."
"Hey babe what are you doing here."
He came over and engulfed me in a hug
"I have to talk to you."
"Is everything ok?"
"Yes and no."
"What do you mean yes and no?" He grabbed my hands.
"I'm going to get rehab. I'm gonna get clean."
"That's amazing!"
"Jay there's one more thing. I'm leaving Chicago. Shays death was my breaking point and being in Chicago would just bring back memories of that day."
I saw tears start to form in his eyes.
"Are you gonna come back?"
"I-I don't know Jay. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who can give you the world."
He let go of my hands.
"Sophia you are the best person in my life.If anything you deserve better than me."
"Jay you are perfect. There is nobody better than you and that's why I have to let you go, your not always gonna be there to save me. I have to save myself. I need to focus on getting rid of this addiction so that I can come back to Chicago."
Tears started to form in my eyes.
"I'm sorry Jay." I saw the tears glisten in his eyes.
"Hey don't cry."
"That goes for you too Sophia." He wiped the tears off my face that fell from my eyes.
"Sophia what does this mean for us?"
"I guess this is it for us. At least for now. But I still want to be friends with you. If you ever need me give me a call. You have my number."
"Of course. You will always be my best friend Sophia."
We shared a long hug.
"Never change Jay Halstead. Stay that loving, caring Detective you are now."
"I don't plan on changing. That goes for you too. Never change from the  badass you are that doesn't take anyone's crap."
"Never."
"So is this a goodbye?"
"No, it's a see you later."
"See you later Sophia Severide."
"See you later Jay Halstead."
He gave me a kiss on the forehead and I walked out.
—
"Hey good luck with rehab. I'm proud of you."
"Thank you Trudy."
She gave me a hug.
—
"This is it. Goodbye Chicago."
I walked out to my car and drove away. I wasn't just leaving because of the addiction but nobody needed to know the other reason I was leaving yet.