The Complete Chronological Works

Words of Strangers

I got this friend
Oh she's great
She's my best friend
Best mate
Bff forever and ever and an infinite amount of "f"'s if infinity even exists.
But she gets so stressed sometimes
So anxious.
And I don't know how to help
I say
"Just take a breath. It's not that big of a deal"
In the most understanding tone I can muster
But how is that supposed to help?
She knows it's not a big deal
But that's the thing
Anxiety doesn't care what is or isn't real.
And she says she wishes she could be more like me.
Just lay back and relax. Go with the flow
But I don't know if that's the way to go
Because I hate me.
Sometimes I think it's less me being relaxed and more I just don't care
And that's a whole other set of issues so please don't ask.
She says she wants to be more like me,
And I'd tell her no I want to be more like you,
But that's not quite true.
Is it?
I don't want to be you
I don't like being me
I wonder what it would be like
To just be nothing.
Wooo!!!
That was gross
Don't think like that
Because there's always room to grow
And all that junk
They tell you at school assemblies
When a stranger comes on stage to talk about bullying or drugs or other atrocities
The kids have been causing these days.
But they don't talk about anxiety
Or any of that stuff.
They'd rather ignore so-and-so's dyslexia
And blame his dropping grades on the fact that in his back pocket is a can of snuff.
It's always outside causes right?
Because how terrible is it to admit that
Some problems can only be caused by some miss fired synapses in your own brain?
How do you tell a kid that they are their own problem?
How fucked is that?
So we just pretend that it's fine
It's fine.
ITS FINE.