Chapter Twenty-Five - Determination

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My dreams plague any sleep I try to get. Although it may be a blessing to some, my lack of sleep is beyond annoying. I want silence and darkness, not irritable dreams about defense bases that are fully functional. For at least half of the night I reassess where I am in Marchwood. I started with a plan of poisoning them from the inside. Then, a mutual tolerance or them developed and now, I was dreaming about ways to make it better. I'm unsure if this is positive, but it's better than having my mindset stuck in Oakwood when they've clearly forgotten about me quicker than I have them.

When my bed begins to feel confining, I throw the comforter off and open my eyes, staring at the wooden slacks on top of me. Organizing my thoughts, a spark of determination flares through me despite my lack of sleep. A spark which soon burns through my body. The constant appearance of irritation at those who slack in defense acts like fuel to the flickering flames as they build inside of my chest.

With the sun still not up, I can't have slept more than three hours. I shrug and pull on a warmer jumper, conscious of how cold the camp gets during the night. Quietly departing the room, my eight years of experience play in my favor when both Ruby and Evelyn don't wake up as I shut the door. The coast is clear without even having to look, but I make sure to check around myself while I walk down the dark corridor.

Somehow, I make it into the defense base. Turning on the lights, a privilege Matt has allowed, I make my way down the ramp. Taking off my jumper, I get to work on turning my determination into something useful.

Rearranging mats so that they're separate, I eliminate the chances of people sitting and talking. The knifes are laid out beside corresponding targets, stopping the excuse of not knowing what equipment to use. Washing down equipment takes me at least two hours, ridding the area of any germs that may scare people off. I will get Marchwood to train properly, even if it kills me.

"This place looks amazing." Matt calls out, letting out a low whistle as he walks down the ramp. He's first here like usual. Matt doesn't get enough credit.

I shrug, setting down the boxing gloves. "I'm sick of excuses."

He laughs. "Aren't we all. Thank you for doing this."

"You can thank me once they know how to defend themselves." I say with a straight face, my eyes meeting his widened ones.

"I'm going to stay out of your way today." Matt decides, stepping away with a smile still on his shocked face.

Giving the others two hours, when barely anyone arrives, I stalk out of the defense base with my temper running on a dangerous level. Threatening. I make my way into the canteen to see breakfast still wrapping up. Many people still sit around tables, but I'm not interested in everyone. Just the specifics.

Standing in front of a table of people I know are in defense, I give them an unimpressed look until they stop their conversation.

"Can we help you?" One asks.

"You can help yourselves by going to defense like you should."

"It's breakfast."

I look at their empty table.

"We'll be there in a minute." Another protests.

"No. You'll go there now and if you don't, I can happily get you all reassigned."

Mumbling under their breaths, the men eventually stand. Moving slowly, they traipse out of the door with slow frustrated steps. I pay no attention to them. Moving onto the next table. I spend the next three hours going over lists of everyone in defense – my targets are easy to spot.

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