The Transfer ✔️

Chapter Thirty-Two - Recovery

Chapter Song: July – Rhys Lewis (Cover)

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My arms wrap around Evelyn's body but it doesn't seem to help the shaking that's overcoming her body. Another night, another nightmare. I would be haunted by them too if I could sleep, but most of the time I can't . I'm either consoling Evelyn or lying awake thinking of alternate futures where the attack didn't happen. There are hundreds so far, nights are long and my imagination is overactive. They all have one similar factor, however: Ruby doesn't die.

The deaths have sent a coldness through camp which hasn't thawed yet. We're in the midst of winter, small icicles chiming against every wall when I remember something she would do. How brightly she would smile. I usually cut my thoughts off there or else my eyes begin to water and the warning prickle of my nose causes me to turn around and walk out of the area she still lives in.

The camp is coming to terms with what the attack meant. Oakwood attacked us, out of jealousy or a play of power, we're not sure. But they did. People from both sides died, as to be expected, but the losses on our side stung more – we are victims. Its been two days of realisations, but the camp has bounced back quicker than I thought it would. Sectors were up and running the next day, the camp alive with productivity.

I wandered down to Defense that day thinking that nobody would turn up. After a battle I assumed nobody would jump at the chance to get back into fighting. I was surprised when the whole sector came down the ramp. I was sitting on the floor when they all came pouring through, the attack spurring them on. Despite everything, it was one of the best moments of my time in Marchwood.

Now, I lie in bed in the midst of grief. It's a blank cloud. Hovering, always there, but invisible to the naked eye. That doesn't mean I can't feel it, though. I can sense it in my heavy limbs. My tired eyes. The cracked skin around my hands from training too much. I can feel it, physically, but fighting off the emotional side is taking more than one rainfall. A monsoon season is required to get past emotional grief.

"You're going to be okay." I murmur, pressing myself into Evelyn. Closeness seems to calm her down when she wakes from another vivid nightmare.

She whimpers but nods in agreement, fighting off the demons in her head. "I know. I will. It just hurts."

"It hurts me too," I reassure, trying to not belittle her feelings. It's so easy to in this kind of scenario. "We've just got to make Ruby proud. She would be so annoyed if we lay in bed all day."

Evelyn sniffs and then pushes up on her elbows, sitting up in the dark room. It's barely morning but for two people who can't sleep, it's the longest we can wait. I leave Evelyn to have some alone time whilst I go and shower, trying to scrub off the grime that's gathered from relentless training and tears. It hasn't been a pretty couple of days but I don't care, as long as I'm moving.

"Morning." Leonardo smiles as I stand in the line behind him in the canteen. He passes me a bowl of porridge before collecting his own.

I mumble something unintelligible before sitting down at our usual table. Leonardo and Robert have seemed to form a support group for Evelyn and I. Sometimes I drag Elise over, just so she knows that she doesn't have to stay away from me. I may be wracked with grief, but I still want to help people improve. It's something I'm in charge of. As long as I'm doing it, I'm in control.

"Bad night?" He questions, sitting beside me. Robert nods his head in a silent welcome.

"Yeah, Evelyn had another nightmare." I mumble, looking down at the bowl. I let my blonde hair form a curtain between us.

Robert stands up from where he's sitting and strides out of the canteen without so much as a backwards glance. He doesn't need to give us one, everyone knows where he's going – Evelyn.