S U R R E N D E R

chapter fifty three

Day 27th,

It has been almost a month since Lisa left and every day that passes by the more empty I feel. It's not that we don't get to talk or even video call, it's more like that I miss the idea of her being in the same house as me, in the room next to me showering or sleeping, doing anything that a human does. The thought of her being miles away is what is killing me the most and I have no idea what I should do so I don't feel this emptiness anymore. Sometimes I think I'm selfish for feeling like she should be here in the end of the day though I was the one that decided to move here in New Zealand. The more time passes though the more I think that I should go back, that idea creeps into my head and gives me hope of living with Lisa one day. I am not sure whether or not Lisa would be down for commiting to something like that but even if she is not... Then I'll way until she is.

I just need her more than anything else, I just need to know that I'll get to wake up next to her and hear her morning voice that annoys me when it wakes me up, but now it's one of the things that I miss the most. Life is always like that, we feel like we don't need something and that it just annoys us when it happens and then when we don't have it anymore we want it back more than anything else in the world. Maybe I should think about it all over again, before I had nothing and out nothing came everything and now that I have everything I have to act on it and claim it the best that I can and know how. Losing Lisa was not one of the best phases in my life, I had the chance to get her back and now I can't risk having her slip out of my hands again, I wouldn't take it at all.

Looking up from where she was sitting, Jennie felt a smile appearing on her lips when she saw the incoming call from Lisa, the woman must had been on her break and had the time to call for the first time that day. "Hey, did I call the right time?" Lisa asked referring to all the times she had forgotten the time difference between Korea and New Zealand, the amount of times she had called while Jennie was at work or even at home sleeping were just too many to count now. "Yeah, the best time of all," Jennie laughed and leaned closer to the screen so she could see every little detail of Lisa's face through the camera her heart immediately skipping a few beats. "You look tired, why haven't you gone to bed yet?" Lisa asked with a tone of worry in her voice, her eyes giving Jennie a serious look that was definitely something she hadn't gotten used to see from Lisa, the biggest clown on planet Earth.

"I waited for your call, I couldn't miss it could I?" Jennie cocked and eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest while looking into the camera, Lisa cracking a smile immediately as she looked away to hide the fact that Jennie had managed to make her break her serious face. "No no, let me see your smile" Jennie whined and tapped her screen as if she could poke Lisa through it, the older woman looking back at Jennie with the same smile on her lips as before, her eyes watering a little bit but Jennie didn't want to ask why since she didn't want to ruin the mood. "I started to hate this video call thing, I want the real thing," Lisa said and lowered her head suddenly now her being the one to bring up the distance problem. Seeing Lisa struggling like that was only making her want to cry as well, she was missing Lisa so much that seeing her breaking down was bringing her close to edge as well.

"I know, I miss you too baby, but we can get through this like everything else," Jennie tried being the one rational adult even though she was tearing up for good as soon as Lisa looked up and her red eyes came into view. "I promise it'll get better, one day I'll be there to annoy you forever,"  Jennie spoke up again and placed her hand on the screen of her computer, Lisa doing the same after a while acting as if they could hold each other's hand. "It seems like a dream that I have yet to wake up from, I'm  scared that one day I'll wake up and it'll all be untrue" Lisa admitted and chuckled a little, that small sound sounding like a melody in Jennie's ears, her lips forming a smile as well as she looked into Lisa's eyes through the bright screen. "Trust me this could only be explained like someone is dreaming while being on some sort of drug, this is a story for the books Lisa," Jennie laughed with the situation they were in, the only thing that could rationalize how they ended up like that was the dream while on drugs thing.