Bound by Blood

Chapter 94- the world turns upside down

(Y/N) POV:

"What is it? What's happened?" Kookie asks, arms not removing themselves from around me, holding me close as he murmurs softly. I shake my head, not now. Now is not the time.

"Don't lie, I sensed your fear and horror. It felt like everything was slipping away, it felt like the ground had been ripped away from under me, so don't for a single instance think you can say nothing." He warns, words serious and contrasting with the gentleness of his tone, the tenderness he holds me with.

"Jungkook-ah, she'll be fine. MJ hyung said he'll be here when lessons finish." Eunwoo says, attempting to be reassuring but it just makes the arms tighten with panic.

"MJ hyung? Why?" he asks, though whether it's directed to me or Eunwoo I don't know. Maybe to anyone- so he can try and get an answer, an answer to calm the waves of fear that gain power and momentum and crash through the bond.

"She couldn't keep her feed down again." Eunwoo says.

Kookie leans back, hand gently drawing my chin up, tilting my face up towards him.

"Is that it baby? Is that why you're worried? Hobi hyung said it would take time, so don't beat yourself up about it." He says, voice pushing away the feeling of failure I'd experienced.

But right now that's the least of my worries. Right now, there's something more pressing then the fact that I seem to be failing at being a vampire.

But my silence seems to speak volumes because he looks at me seriously, eyes a deep red- searching, scanning, knowing eyes that seem to penetrate those once infallible barriers, sliding past the weak defences easily and insistently staying by my side.

"We are going to talk about whatever it is. And I'm going to be there every step of the way and you are not for a single moment going to be alone." He says softly but his words leave no space for argument.

But I'm thankful he's given me the time to process it all, given me that time to think and push it all aside as we head into art- not bothering or nudging or distracting me as we work but allowing me to sink into that focused headspace- the one where the world melts away and only the canvas exists.

But today my hands have a tremor, today each stroke of paint seems wrong, seems harsh and jagged and unsure. My inner state is being reflected on the harsh ugly lines and curves of my work, in the indecisiveness of my hand's movements. 

And it's me who throws down my paint brush, hurrying away to sort away my equipment and tug off my apron- having given up on any hope of trying to get any work done today, the mess of harsh colours and lines on my canvas attested to that- a swirling ugly mix of dark shades.

Even Eunwoo's usual light teasing which would have me happily bickering and arguing with him can't seem to lift that personal thundercloud and I merely give up- handing my snack over before leaving, sensing that Kookie is right behind me without even having to turn to confirm.

A hand captures my arm, stilling me from leaving.

"(Y/N)-ah, where are you going?" Eunwoo asks.

"MJ hyung is here." He says simply, wrapping my hand in his- giving me a brief squeeze of reassurance as Kookie appears on my other side, protective and perhaps automatically flanking me, driven by instinct as they shepherd me to MJ hyung's awaiting doting arms.

The drive to their house is silent, tense and can't be broken by chatter, music nor the questions directed to me- my mind is buzzing, whirling and the bag in my lap feels like a dead weight, burdensome and heavy.

And I sit dutifully as MJ hyung checks me over, don't protest when he gently ushers the other two out- wanting to have a private chat.

"Sweetheart you know stress and worry can play into the difficulty in keeping feeds down. I know you'd been adapting well, so what's happened suddenly?" he asks, sitting beside me on the bed in the adjacent spare room they keep next to the living room.