Bound by Blood

Chapter 99- unfolding the past

(Y/N) POV:

I don't realise that at some point between being curled up with my mates I'd dropped off to asleep, only realising when I woke with a hoarse voice screaming, screaming for my parents, for them to be alive, for the weight of my mum as she'd pinned me down and shielded me in her dying moments. That phantom weight which seemed to carry on through to my conscious, suffocating, and heavy- the dream still vivid and bright in my mind, still shrouding me.

I didn't know who was on me, who's weight was comfortably sprawled on mine but I wanted...no needed it off.

"Off, off. Please off." I sob, trying to push at the arms, the limbs of whoever has curled up with me, whose splayed themselves across me.

And though my eyes are wide open I can't see anything save for the darkness that had covered my eyes when my mum's bleeding body had covered me, blocked out the sight of Chul from my eyes. Protecting me even in her last moments, her last act not only as a mother but as someone dying was to give me that final blanket of security; where she became that blanket for me.

The weight suddenly vanishes allowing my lungs to shudder and rattle as they gulp down large mouthfuls of air, trying to force my rapidly thudding heart to a state of calm. My hand rubs at my chest, trying to ease that pressure, that knot, fingers expecting to splay over a racing heart. Suddenly shocked into bolting upright when they scrabble and fail to find the soaked, warmth of my body and my sodden nightdress, finding only a blankness. A coolness.

Right. It had been a nightmare; my mind reminds me. Whispers that reassurance.

And when finally that darkness recedes, I come face to face with my own ray of constant light.

Hobi oppa's face peers worriedly at me, the soft glow of the room casting a halo around his dark hair as his reddening eyes look at me, lips twisted in a concerned frown.

"I'm fine." I say, trying to slide my eyes away from his penetrative, knowing ones.

"I never said anything." He murmurs, dark eyes still scanning me before he moves away from his protective hover over my body to lie next to me, shoulder brushing against mine.

It's silence as the two of us look aimlessly at the ceiling until he sighs and shifts, turning to face me from the side.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently.

I sigh, looking up.

"I don't know. It feels stupid to keep thinking about the past. Feels silly it still bothers me." I confess.

He leans forward, a quick peck against my cheek.

"Not silly or stupid." He murmurs.

I smile slightly.

"Maybe you're right." I acquiesce.

Another peck on my cheek.

"I am right." He corrects.

"I dreamt of that night again." I whisper.

He sighs.

"Talking about it must've made those memories surface again. But it is normal my love, it's not something to beat yourself over." He says softly.

Still my eyes remained on the ceiling, knowing if I face him, if I see the silent strength in them, it'll make me want to lose myself in that feeling. It'll make me silent.

And I want to tell him, tell someone.

"I dreamt of the final moments, when Chul said I'd taste delicious. When he was about to attack me but my mum was the one who got hurt instead." I speak into the silence again.