Same Old Song and Dance(Sterek)

Remorse

Derek's hands shook as he dug through his glove compartment of his car for the surgical pliers he kept inside. Stiles was currently sliding into the driver's side door, his own hands shaking as they grabbed the steering wheel.

"I should get you to a hospital, those were dipped in aconite," Stiles' tone was raw with nerves.

"No, it's not safe, I'll heal. I just need to get the bullet out," Derek disagreed around a growl as he pushed the forceps into his skin.

"Oh god," Stiles grimaced as he looked over to see Derek with the pliers dug into him. "Are you using scissors?"

"No, they're hemostatic forceps, I got them from Melissa," Derek hissed around clenched teeth as he fished for the bullet.

"Is that really smart to do in a moving vehicle?" Stiles huffed, his eyes darting back towards Derek once more.

"Just keep your eyes on the road, I've done it before," Derek was panting and sweating and he knew if he didn't get the bullet out soon, the aconite would continue to spread. Thankfully, it didn't seem to be a rare type, which meant once he got the bullet out, his body would push out the poison.

Stiles, whose hands were still covered in Derek's blood, glared through the windshield as Derek hissed and growled in pain next to him...because of him.

Finally, a sigh of relief and lack of movement forced Stiles to look again.

Derek was holding a pair of surgical looking scissors with a bullet in them.

Stiles bit his lip and forced himself to look away. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't intend to shoot me," Derek sounded better already.

"I should have had better control."

"He knew what he was doing."

"So did I. And I still let him push me," Stiles for the first time, hoped Derek could smell the shame on him.

"You're going through a lot right now. I can't imagine how you're keeping it together as well as you are. Give yourself some credit," Derek was wrapping the bullet in a napkin and attempting to wipe off the forceps as he spoke.

"The pack is gonna kill me," Stiles groaned as he pulled up to the building where Derek lived.

"Let me do the talking and they won't," Derek assured him as he pushed open the door to the car with a bit of effort.

Stiles pursed his lips and hesitated only a moment before following after Derek.

When they opened the door, Stiles expected to be met with a thousand questions and him being slammed against the wall but instead they were met with silence. However, every wolf was standing and waiting for an explanation. They'd either heard or, more likely by the tense looks, smelled them coming.

"I know this looks bad, but everyone is fine, and it went well. The blood on me is my fault, that's all you need to know," Derek spoke firmly and with a tone that said that was the end. He turned then to his room. "I'm going to clean up."

Stiles stood agape as Derek shut the door.

"That's it?" Stiles scoffed, turning to the pack as if expecting them to argue.

"You heard him," Boyd nodded.

Stiles scoffed again. His eyes landing on Theo and Jackson who were exchanging angry and concerned looks.

"That's not even an explanation," Stiles threw his still blood covered hands up.

"Stiles, don't. If Derek wanted us to know more then he would have told us," Scott shook his head.

"But why didn't he want us to know?" Jackson narrowed his eyes at Stiles.

"Because he thinks you're gonna be pissed at me I'm guessing," Stiles shrugged, glancing back at the closed door of Derek's room.

"Why? What did you do?" Theo pressed, taking a step forward.

"Theo, stop," Boyd put a hand up. "Stiles, don't. You're just going to piss Derek off."

"I don't give a shit. Your alpha just walked in from a meeting with the enemy covered in his own blood with an enemy you've been working alongside and been told to trust, with your alpha's blood on his hands, you deserve a proper explanation."

The pack all exchanged unsure glances while Boyd rubbed his eyes with his finger and thumb.

"Derek met with Chris. It went well. I kept perimeter, found a spy sent by Kate. He got mouthy. I lost my temper. I shot him, but Derek stepped in the way last minute because he thought I'd regret it. Chris Kept us from being followed so I could get Derek out of there. Derek pulled out the bullet on the way back."

If a room could deflate, it would have. The stress in several of the members melted away once Stiles finished talking.

"So you shot Derek because he stepped in front of your gun?" Theo asked, frowning at Stiles.

"Yes."

"Because you were going to shoot...an old friend of yours?"

Stiles licked at his bottom lip. Would he classify Donovan as an old friend? The twist in his gut said yes. "Yeah," His tone was lower now. "Anything else you would like me to reiterate?" he snapped.

"Hm," Theo snorted. His eyes raked over Stiles for a moment. "I didn't think you had it in you. Killing one of your own. Guess Derek was right about you."

"He's gonna be pissed you told us," Jackson spoke up next.

"Like I said, I don't give a shit. When he gets out. He knows where to find me," with that Stiles turned and headed for his own loft to clean up.

As Stiles washed Derek's blood from his hands and watched it wash down the sink, he couldn't help but replay the look on Derek's face when the bullet hit him.

His eyes widened slightly from the pain and his hands clutched his midsection.

Stiles scrubbed harder as he recalled the blood ooze onto Derek's hands, short gasps pull from his chest as he tried to take a breath.

Damn Donovan and his pushing. Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? He wondered if would feel the same remorse seeing Donovan in that state, bleeding and gasping for air. The uncertainty of that answer didn't sit well with Stiles. He was too mad to think clearly now. Surely he would be upset. He had known Donovan for years.

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip as he recalled the many times he'd trained with him and Allison. The classes together. The shared stories.

Yes, he decided, he would feel the same remorse.

*AN*
So sorry I didn't get this up sooner! Just been really busy also complications with my eyes still. But to make up for it I have another chapter coming tomorrow! I stayed up super late to work on it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow cause it's the fun chapter I promised you guys. It's Sterek fun If you know what I mean 😉😉