20. Distraction From Reality

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~ Jamie Barns ~

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~ Jamie Barns ~

I adore mornings, but it's too early for this

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I adore mornings, but it's too early for this.

I was perched at the kitchen table, trying to enjoy a lovely sandwich that Julie happily made for me. She was in a good mood. She must love mornings, too.

Mornings are the best part of the day, when the sun is bright and beautiful and shiny, and it's not too hot when the sun rises, and birds wake up and chirp at the same time as me. I believe in starting each morning with a nice, cheerful whistle, to get myself in the proper mood for the day.

Unfortunately, though, not even a cheerful bird-chirp first thing in the morning can stop outside forces from conspiring against me. Maybe I made a unicorn or a flabbergast mad. Maybe even - gasp! - an elf or a fairy.

My fairy godmother must be upset with me.

I know I have a fairy godmother, because I've dreamt about her, but she hasn't visited me when I'm awake - yet. I have a firm belief that she will appear when I need her, because that is what fairy godmothers do. It's what Cinderella's fairy godmother did. When Cinderella's butthead stepmother and butthead stepsisters ruined her dress, preventing her from being able to go to the ball, Cinderella's fairy godmother appeared and made her a beautiful new dress and glass slippers and turned a pumpkin into a carriage.

And the mice could talk. Why won't mice talk to me? Are they mad at me too?

I think my current situation should be enough for my fairy godmother to come see me. It should be more than enough.

But where is she? Why isn't she here yet?

Alas, bada bing, bada boom, I have reached the conclusion that I have done something that made my fairy godmother mad at me, because she has not saved me from this horrid situation.

The situation in question?

Fancy-Pants Charlton was sitting across the table from me, supposedly eating an omelet. However, I have the suspicion that he's really watching me. Creepy Fancy-Pants.

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