Not The Same Girl

Chapter 20

The rest of the BBQ went by without any new injuries we were all having so much fun. Charlie got drunk then proceeded to cry when the rest of the guys deflated the volleyball net, he also cried when I dropped a piece of lettuce while eating my salad, and then he cried again because I smacked his hand away when he started tugging at the ends of my hair. Charlie's sisters were a lot of fun. Charlotte and Adele are a lot like Charlie who I learn take after their father who is also a massive goofball, while Annabelle is a bit more on the serious side like their mother. The twins are 23 years old and Charlotte is 19. Rebecca didn't really join the rest of us, she mostly sat on the phone by herself occasionally sending glares in my direction, but I just smiled at her every time. It was around 9 o'clock when everybody started to say their goodbyes before we started heading out with promises of visiting again and a scheduled shopping trip booked with the twins and Charlotte. When Jake and I made it to the car I turned to him with a small grin on my face as he pulled out of the driveway. "That was a good day." I state with a small smile on my face. "I'm glad you enjoyed it baby." "Are you just going to drop me home, or will you stay a while?" I didn't want to admit I wanted him to spend the night again, I was scared of sounding clingy, but I really wished he wanted to stay. "Do you want me to stay?" He returns quickly glancing at my from the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the road. "Yeah." I mumble softly a blush coating me cheeks as I look down at my hands which were folded on my lap. Jake reaches over and laces his hand through mine before giving it a soft squeeze. "Are you going to tell me why you were so upset with me earlier today?" I ask softly for a moment I wondered if he even heard me, but then he lets out a long breath and a frown falls onto his beautiful face. "I wasn't upset with you baby." When I just raise my eyebrow at him he continues. "I wasn't upset with you, it's just, I know he is your best friend baby, and I would never do anything to get in the way of that. But I also know that you guys have slept together, so when I walked in with you on his lap, it kind of bothered me a lot more than I thought it would. I didn't want to make a big deal about it because I knew you didn't mean it in a funny way, you were just sitting on his lap like you've probably done your entire life but I just couldn't not feel a bit out of place." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Out of place?" "Oh, baby you don't know do you?" When I just frown at him Jake takes a deep breath. "He is in love with you Raylan. I think everybody knows that except for you. You really never noticed anything?" I just stare at Jake before I start to giggle softly. "That's impossible, we were talking about you and he was telling me how happy I seemed with you and-" "He wasn't as happy as he was supposed to be for his best friend was, he?" "No he wasn't." I state softly when we stop at my house I silently get out of the car before making my way towards the front door with Jake following closely behind me when he closes the door behind him I just move into the living room before sitting on the couch, resting my elbows on my knees and burying my face in my hands. "Is this the part of the story where you realise you have been in love with him this entire time as well?" Jake asks, he tries to keep his voice light, but I can sense the slight panic in his tone, but I answer without hesitation as I begin to pace in front of him. "No, no, I'm not I've never thought about Landon like that, I never will. I love him, he's like my other half but I'm not in love with him Jake. I am way to busy falling in love with you." My eyes go wide as the word spill from my mouth. When I turn to face Jake, he has the most genuine smile on his face, happiness shining bright in his eyes. "You really mean that?" His tone is soft as he stands up from the couch and walks towards me. "Yeah, I think I do. I dont know how else to describe the way I feel about you; I think I am falling for you." He gently cups my cheeks before placing a soft kiss on my lips. "I think I'm falling in love with you too." Even if I tried, I wouldn't have been able to stop the massive grin that stretched across my face at his words. I have never felt this way before about anyone else, not even Noah and I was so convinced that I had been in love with him, but now while I am staring into the most perfect turquoise eyes I realise that, I had no idea what love was back then. I pull his face down towards mine before wrapping my arms around his neck as he presses his lips against my own. It is a slow sweet kiss, filled with so much emotion and passion that I feel tears prick the back of my eyes. When I pull away Jake gently cups my cheeks concern shining bright in his eyes. "Why are you crying baby?" I pull away from him before I start pacing the living room once again, Jake's eyes following my movement trying to comprehend what I must be thinking. "This is going to ruin everything. How could he? Why would he? I don't understand. How am I supposed to carry on like this isn't something that could possibly ruin our friendship? I've been best friends with him since I was born Jake, I cannot imagine my life without him. Every memory I have, the good the bad everything. He was part of everything. I ran to him when me first tooth fell out. I ran to him the first time a boy pulled my pigtails on the playground. Shit I even ran to him the first time I had my period and I'm still not sure who was screaming louder, me or him. He was my first kiss my first time. He stayed at the hospital everyday back then only leaving for school then coming right back. What am I going to do? I don't want to lose him, but I could never feel that way about him." I was rambling I knew I was, my mind was all over the place. How was I supposed to carry on knowing he felt something more than friendship towards me? "Maybe you are wrong? Maybe you just read it wrong, he was upset because of the fight he had with his dad, that is the only reason why he didnt seem happy for me when we were talking about you. Thats possible right?" I stop pacing and turn towards Jake, the sympathy in his eyes are killing me. "It is possible baby, but I don't think that is the case. He couldnt even look me in the eye baby girl, and I am sorry this is happening but you have to be able to see the possibility that he is in love with you, he probably has been for some time now. I told you earlier I would never do anything to get in the way of your friendship with him, and I won't, but that doesn't change the fact that you are mine Raylan and I will not feel guilty because you chose me and I definitely won't hide how I feel about you." He states calmly I just sigh before flopping down on the couch putting my hands over my face as I lean back with my face towards the ceiling. I feel Jake sitting next to me before I am pulled onto his lap, he places a soft kiss on my head before leaning back against the couch. "I have to talk to him, don't I?" I ask as I lean my head against his shoulder staring at my hands that are in my lap. "I think you do baby." I let out a soft sigh before placing a soft kiss on the hickey I left on Jakes neck.