Not The Same Girl

Chapter 24

The rest of the day went by quickly, in second period Hannah still sat next to Landon but I could feel his eyes on the back of my head the entire period. When the bell rang for lunch, I was the first one out of the class. The bell just rang for after school now and I am making my way towards the front doors along with everyone else. When I reach outside, I head towards where Jake said hell meet me, but as I was walking someone grabs my hand before turning me to face them. When I see Landon standing in front of me, I quickly try to remove my hand from his, but he wont let go. I search the parking lot, trying to spot one of the guys, but I come up empty handed. Jesus, why do you look like youre scared of me? He asks with an angry look on his face. Im not scared of you Landon I just want you to let go of my arm. I say tugging at my hand again, but he doesnt let go. If I let go of your hand, youll run away again like you have been doing since Sunday, and Im tired of you running. Since when do we run from each other? I have been trying to talk to you, but every time I get close, you have one of your fucking guard dogs chasing me away. Because I dont want to talk to you yet, I told you, when Im ready to talk to you, Ill let you know. Now please let go of my hand. I think you better let go of her hand. I turn to face Jake when I hear his voice once again trying to tug my hand from Landons grip, but he just tightens it once again. You know this is all your fault! We were fine before you came into the fucking picture and ruined our friendship! Landon all but screams at Jake, his grip on my arm tightening causing me to wince. Let go of her arm, you are hurting her. Jake states in a calm voice, Landon realises he is gripping me to hard and he eases up but doesnt let go. We always figure our fights out, Mouse. We always talk until we can figure everything out. Why wont you talk to me. Landon, please let go. I tug once more but he keeps his grip. Okay, you have two seconds to let her go before Ill make you. Jakes tone is calm but you can see the anger in his voice, people have stopped to look at the three of us when they heard Landon shouting and a small crowd has formed around us, I see Brandon, Charlie and Keith push their way to the front, their eyes going wide when they take in the scene in front of them, but they immediately take their place next to Jake. Oh of course the rest of the guard dogs are here. Fucksakes Mouse! I just want to talk to you. Before I can say anything else Brandon rushes in and punches Landon in the face, he releases his grip from my arm as he falls to the ground, but a bunch of his football teammates quickly help him to his feet as I move to stand next to Jake, who wraps a protective arm around me. What part of She doesnt want to talk to you are you struggling with?! Brandon yells at Landon before continuing in a calmer voice I have been patient because you are supposed to be her best friend, but if you ever lay your fucking hands on her again, when she clearly doesnt want to be near you, I will kick your ass. Are you seriously choosing them over me Raylan? After everything weve been through? I didnt have to choose anyone jackass! now I am yelling, I was just sick and tired of this shit. You are the one who broke the rules! You are the one who threw Noah in my face the moment something didnt go your fucking way! I didnt do shit to you! You keep on talking about how I run away the entire time, but you havent stopped to ask yourself why I am running from you!! You are supposed to be my best fucking friend Landon, but how can you stand here spewing shit about me running away after the things you said Sunday?! I told you when Im ready to talk to you I will, but you couldnt even give me that! You had to go and make a big fucking scene! Just. Stay away from me. Honestly, I cant deal with all of this bullshit right now! When I am done screaming, I am standing about a foot away from him, I didnt even notice I was moving closer to him until now. When I feel someone take my hand, I spin around to face Jake and I quickly move myself to his side as I allow him to pull me away from the crowd. The people step aside allowing us to walk out of the circle they formed around us. When we reach Jakes car, he opens the door for me before going around and sliding in behind the wheel. I can feel him looking at me, but I just stare straight ahead, blinking furiously to try and keep the tears from falling. I hear Jake sigh softly before he starts the car and pulls into the street. The entire ride is silent and when we reach my house, I quickly grab my bag from where it was laying on the back seat, I lean over and place a kiss on Jakes cheek before I climb out of the car and hurry towards my front door. I hear his car door shut but I just enter my house leaving the front door open for him as I make my way upstairs. When I get into my bedroom I go to my closet and pull out a pair of long yoga pants and a sports bra. I am in the middle of taking off my jeans when Jake walks in and sits on the bed. He doesnt say anything while I change and tie my hair up into a high ponytail. When Im done, he walks over to me before picking me up and sitting back down on the bed with me straddling his lap. You have to go back to work. I state as I try to remove myself from his lap, but he isnt letting me go. Damnit Jake youre going to be late! I exclaim as I try to remove his arms from my waist after a few minutes I realise he isnt letting me go so I slump down against his chest resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my legs completely around him. Hes an asshole. I mutter still refusing to let my tears fall. Lately it feels like all I have been doing is crying. He just makes me so mad! there it is, anger I can deal with, Im sick of crying so when that angry feeling begins to form, I grab onto it with both hands. I cant fucking believe him! How dare he blame you for the fuckup that has become our friendship after he is the one who started all this shit! I lean back in Jakes embrace, completely relying on his grip on my waist to keep me from falling as I throw my hands in the air. If he just didnt flip out that day! I mean yeah, he thinks he is in love with me, but we couldve figured out a way to work around that you know? I dont know what it feels like to fall in love with someone youre friends with, but we have been best friends our entire lives! We couldve thought of something! We couldve figured this out together! And I wouldve! I really wouldve! Im not mad because he claims to be in love with me, he cant help that! And the kiss, I wouldve gotten over that as well. It was in the moment and he was desperate! But throwing Noah in my face was a line I didnt think hed cross! It was a line that was never supposed to be crossed! He knows how fucking messed up I was after everything that happened! I didnt just bounce back into my normal life! For a long time, I had the worst nightmares, I was on sleeping medication and anxiety meds and anti-depressants and all types of shit! I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming because of the dreams and he was there! He knows this! I wanted to die! I didnt want to live like that! But I got better! I had amazing people helping me and I got back onto my own feet. Sure, sometimes I may stumble and fall but the point is I got better!! And for him to just! I have never been so angry at him! Why does it feel like my heart is breaking right now?! I scream at Jake, and then the tears start to fall. And they dont stop! For a long time, I just cry. I cry for the friendship that seems broken beyond repair, I cry for the girl I was before Noah destroyed me, I cry for the broken girl Noah left behind, I cry for the strong girl I try to convince myself and everyone around me I am, and I cry for the man who pulls me into his chest and lets me completely fall apart when the anger turns into heart shattering sadness.