One shots Yogscast/Hat Films

A Letter For My Love {Trott X OC}

Dedicated to Gwenyn

My dearest,
You know my heart is devoted to you. And the feeling of dread inside me, as i speak to you without you actually being able to hear this, is unbearable. I can't eat, nor sleep, or sit in silence without thoughts of you coming into mind. Your eyes, your laugh, your everything and more. I love it all. I miss it all. I can't hear anything that may have gained a funny response from you, without breaking down in the middle of the office. I can't walk past your office anymore. I can't because of the pain. Lewis moved me upstairs with Hannah so it isn't as hard. The worst of it all is i never got to tell you...and i remember the day like no other.

Tapping away at her keyboard, Tamzin glanced over into their office, Hat Films had gone away for a few days, and she had so much work to do she couldn't go as well. Which she desperately wanted to. She wanted to spend some lovely time with Trott in a place as nice as Scotland. Especially when she told him the important thing she'd kept jarred up for a while. She had told Hannah and Kim of course, they were her best friends besides the trio, she couldn't bear not telling them her new found secret. They hadn't spilt the beans to anyone except Lewis who needed to know obviously. But the idea that the 3 wouldn't be around for a while made Tamzin more nervous than she had originally felt. What if when he comes back he doesn't feel the same as when he had left? She hadn't heard from him since that morning when they left for the airport. Though she passed it off as he was probably sleeping on the plane, as were the others.

Time sped by as Tamzin worked away, having twice as much editing to do as before, as she had offered to do Hat Films' editing whilst they were away, believing she'd be able to handle it all. That being said, there were other things that needed her undivided attention, thus subtracting from the editing at hand. Though the quietness of the office was somewhat distracting for her. She would have at least had 3 visits by now from the others, asking for help, bringing her coffee or checking up on her like her friends normally do. But nothing. Stumbling as she climbed from her chair, Tamzin headed to the kitchen, looking in each office as she travelled along the unsettlingly empty and silent corridor. Hearing soft murmurs from the floor above once she reached the kitchen, Tamzin gave up on her original plan of coffee and chocolate biscuits. Instead she ascended upwards to the floor above. There she found her friends.

Wandering into the new common room area, she found her silent group of friends, all quiet and looking uneasy. Kim looked as though she was going to be sick, Sips and Turps looked completely heartbroken, and the others were sat on the edges of their seats, biting their fingernails or fiddling nervously with their sleeves, the faint sight of tears plaguing each pair of eyes that scattered the room. "Hey guys" Tamzin announced, having entered the office and the cloud of gloom they'd all produced. Hannah peered up from the couch where she sat in Lewis' arms, her eyes glossy and her expression bland. "What's wrong with all of you?" Tamzin spoke again, gaining more attention from the others. In the light she could swear Sips was crying along with a few others in the room, but him having looked away quickly denied confirmation. Kim, face pale and gaunt, tapped the empty seat spinning beside her at one of the unused desks. Taking the hint, Tamzin did as told, taking the uncomfortable office chair and turning back to face the others. But before anyone could speak, the television spoke up first.

"...has just been confirmed...the plane that went down on it's way to Scotland from Heathrow has 31 estimated passengers....missing and presumed dead..."

The news reporter stammered, whilst a few pictures came up of the plane. It didn't take long for Sips' crying to become clear, along with several others whom were making muffled sniffing sounds, and the occasional sob. Hannah's face soon burrowed into Lewis' neck whereas Kim jogged out of the room, covering her mouth. Simon, Duncan and Sjin all shared a solemn look between the three, patting each others' backs in a comforting way. However, no attention was paid to Tamzin, who sat with her mouth ajar and eyes wide. Lewis soon glanced her way, attempting to show sympathy in his eyes rather than pain and sadness. Tamzin didn't understand. What did it mean? It couldn't be what she had immediately thought to. She wouldn't accept it if it was. The sounds of sobbing echoed from the corridor whilst the others remained quiet. Duncan, almost instantly stood knowing full well it was Kim, and began for the door. Pausing quickly by Tamzin's frozen state, giving her a warming hug and whispering softly, "I'm sorry," before leaving to find Kim.

That day was the worst day I've ever had. You wouldn't know how painful it is to find your friends heartbroken. In fact i don't think I nor Christina has ever seen Sips cry that much in his lifetime. He was devastated as was everyone else. But i think i felt the worst. You're not here now Chris, y'know how much that hurts me to say. You were the love of my life and i can't bear it now that not one of you are here. I have the other guys but it isn't the same. All three of you were my best friends, you and me were supposed to last forever...that's what you promised me. And now i only have the memories, but they're not you; your eyes don't sparkle in my mind as they did when you were lying with me at night. It's like something's been ripped away from me. The one i love has been taken from me without any explanation and i don't understand it. I don't want to accept it because there's so much i never got to tell you,and if I give into the pain, then that means it's real, and I don't know that I could ever bare it being real, because that means the only man I have ever loved, or cared for, is gone from my life completely. You were my everything, Chris, and I can't believe, no, I won't believe that I have to go the rest of my life without seeing you, or holding you again. We never got married like you said we should, we never went on a honeymoon or made any lifelong memories with just the two of us. The only living thing i have left of you...is him. I'd say you're lucky your not here, because Chris Jnr keeps me awake most nights, but i miss you too much to not want you here as well. He has your eyes by the way, and your smile. God, he's everything of you that i miss.

Just come back to me, Trott...because it's too hard to live without you....

A/N: Probably not what you were expecting i was just in a depressing mood.