One shots Yogscast/Hat Films

Why {Troffy}

Sighing softly, Trott listened intently as the car outside gave a loud roar before exiting the drive way and out of view of Chris' bedroom window. Why had he not just carried on as usual? Why had he got so jealous this time it had happened? Why, why, why?! Trott glared at his reflection on the condensed window, the dark night revealing the dim light from his desk lamp, and outlining his face in the glass. He'd stood there for a moment or more, waiting for his boyfriend...or at least his previous boyfriend to come back. But he never did. In any case Trott lost hope, crawling into his empty bed and feeling regret boil in his every muscle and organ. Why had he said what he had? He knew Smith was handsome, he was his boyfriend of course he knew that. But he also knew girls thought the same. And having thought it would be nice to accompany Smith on a trip to the bar, Trott only made himself feel more jealous when several slutty girls threw themselves at his boyfriend. What made it even worse was that Smith completely ignored Trott and enjoyed the attention he gained from the girls who were simply aching to sleep with him. Chris stayed out of the way all night, but soon unleashed hell when they got home.

Smith didn't know how it felt to sit back in jealousy and watch the one he loves get all the flirting and girls dying to get him in bed, he didn't have to watch that with Chris, instead he paid no attention to him when they were out. Not noticing Trott's pain. And once they'd got home he'd accused Trott of over reacting to the whole thing. And having explained his feelings, Chris had told Alex not to bother sticking around if he was going to continue to act like that. To which Smith excepted. Leaving the house and driving away in his car.

So Chris lay there for a while, glaring at the clock on Smith's side of the bed, noticing the numbers change to 3 am. Why had he not got to sleep yet? Was it because Smith was still on his mind? Whether it was or wasn't that, Trott rolled over, turning his glare to the ceiling. He began to wonder what would have happened to them if they were both straight. There wouldn't have been an arguments over girls and jealousy because they wouldn't be in love. That was when Trott began to think if it would have been better that way...if he'd never come out with it. Ross knew, and he had been the one to talk Chris into it. Maybe he was the one to blame for it then. No, Chris couldn't blame Ross, he'd only wanted his two best friends to be happy and together. He'd thought it would be one in the same...though he was wrong.
Still considering every other life the two Hatters could have had without each other, Trott hardly paid any attention to his phone buzzing on the night stand beside him. Focusing on the number, one of which he hardly recognised, he assumed it to be PPI or something, and was more than prepared to tell them to F off. Though once he held the phone to his ear, he was shocked to hear his name being called through the phone. It was Ross.

"Mate, you need to get down here!" Ross yelled anxiously, his voice breathless. "Down where, Ross it's 3 in the morning and if your drunk-" Christ complained though was interrupted. "The hospital. It's Smith..." Ross barked half way through Trott's sentence. Chris stayed quiet, a knot curling in his stomach and a lump rising in his throat. "W-what happened?!" Trott managed through the pain burning in his chest. "There was an accident...Just get down here and i'll explain," Ross snapped, hanging up the phone afterwards, leaving Trott sat in silence, alone in his and Smith's bed. How could there have been an accident? What kind of accident? How did Ross know before Trott had?

Trott was numb. Everything in his body fighting against itself whilst the image of Smith replayed in Trott's mind, and Ross' words repeating throughout the drive to the hospital. Once he'd arrived, he spotted Ross waiting by the front desk, blood slightly smeared across his white super-dry shirt. His dim blue eyes caught Trott's immediately, rushing over to the short brunette who's eyes were swollen from ongoing tears. Ross hugged him tightly before staring down at Chris' blank face. "What happened?" He'd asked almost instantly, gazing up at his best friend who's eyes were also bloodshot. "He was drunk and drove off the road, i found him and called the ambulance," Ross explained briefly, watching Trott's eyes flicker with emotions. "How did you find him?" Trott snapped, glaring up at Ross in confusion. "I was on my way home when i saw his car steaming and crushed against a tree, and i could see Smith through the window," Ross murmured, as if reliving the moment over again. Gulping, Trott noticed a nurse wondering around the waiting room, before spotting Ross. She made her way over with a soft smile and announced they could go and see him now.

Once they'd found the room, Trott let himself in, almost breaking down at the sight of Smith's cut face and bandaged body. Ross placed a reassuring hand on Trott's shoulder, before leaving him in the room alone with Smith. Trott sat in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed, preventing himself from reaching for Smith's hand. He sat gazing at the sleeping Smith for a moment, before feeling his phone vibrating again. Across the screen it read: 1 new voice mail. Trott pressed the phone to his ear as Smith's voice began.

"Mate...i shouldn't have been like that tonight...or ever. You're more important to me than anyone else, and no skanky girls are worth losing you, which is why I didn't understand your jealousy. Your my everything, and i wouldn't give that up for the world. Please don't be mad at me....i know i'm an ass when i'm drunk, which is why i'm in my car right now and not in bed with you like i want to be. Just forgive me, please. Because i can't imagine living without you...I love y-"

The message cut short as several loud thudding sounds echoed through the phone before the annoying voice announced: end of message. Trott bit down on his bottom lip as tears cascaded down his face. Why hadn't he known all that already? Smith loved him and he loved Smith. He should have known Smith only cared about him, and only wanted to be with him. He should have never questioned it. Why did he then? Why had he had to be so mean and hurtful to his love? Why had he not let it go as usual? Because Smith's love shouldn't have been doubted but he doubted it anyway. Staring up at Smith, Trott's eyes overflowed at the sight of what he'd done. Whether it was because he was drunk, or because he was on the phone. Smith was in the car because of Trott, had he not sent him away Smith wouldn't be in the hospital at that very moment.

Ross soon entered with a glum look, separate tears spreading down his pale cheeks. "Chris..." Ross spoke softly, gaining the heartbroken man's attention. "The doc says he's in a coma...." Ross stated, leaving Trott trembling - before he continued. "He...." Ross gulped, chocking on the words he need to say. "He may not wake up..." Ross managed to blurt out, watching Trott's face fall again. His eyes still fixed on Smith. "I'm sorry mate," He murmured before leaving Trott again to deal with their friends gathering outside. Trott was truly done. He didn't think he could cope with anything more. Now knowing he may never see his favourite blue eyes again. He may never hear another rude joke that only Smith could make funny. He would never again hear Smith's soft singing voice, on nights when Trott couldn't sleep. He may never share a bed with the man again. Nor feel the warmth Smith radiated. There were so many things he needed to apologise for, and make sure Smith knew. So many things he'd said that he hadn't meant to say or never meant for the words to hurt Smith but they had anyway. There was so much he didn't want to throw away. Why? Just why had this happened? Ross was right, he wanted them to be happy together and they were most of time, and if they weren't it was usually because of Trott's over reacting. But they were happy. Why couldn't they still be happy?
Trott blamed himself for it all and could not help but feel he never deserved someone as amazing as Smith in the first place. Smith had deserved someone who loved him and never doubted that Smith loved them back. Which Trott had done on more than one occasion for no reason other than Trott was over dramatic.

Being able to hear the other's crying outside, or speaking to Ross, Trott finally forced himself to take Smith's hand in his own, planting his damp lips on to Smith's stone cold hand. Peering up at Smith's face Trott could only think of 3 words that needed to be said in order for him to let go...

"I forgive you,"

A/N: God, i'm so depressing aren't i. I was reading sad Troffy stuff early and i wanted to have a go at something like this so here you go. Hope you liked it.