Secrets (wolfstar)

Part Seventeen

Remus willed his body to go back to sleep. It was a Saturday morning and judging by the light slowly starting to pour into the dormitory it was early morning. He hadn't slept well, and knew that a couple hours more sleep would do him good and make it more possible for him to face the day. but once he was awake his mind started going and he knew there was no point. So he quietly pulled the sheets off his body and got dressed.

The rest of the boys were fast asleep, and Remus had no intention of waking them. A part of him wanted Sirius to wake up, and come with him. But he knew that wouldn't happen, the boy hadn't uttered a word to him in days. He was done hoping on Sirius.

It was too early to head to breakfast, so instead Remus decided to walk the grounds. Adults always said fresh air cleared the mind, and who knows maybe it would. The air was cool, with the sun only just peaking over the trees in the forbidden forrest casting long shadows. Without really thinking Remus set off on the path he and Lukas used to walk on their secret mornings togethers.

Exactly a week ago Remus had been comfortably asleep in his four poster bed, knowing that the day ahead of him held a detention for him and Sirius. Not knowing what that detention and the hours after would lead to. Exactly a week ago Remus had been happy, now he cursed that day. Wished he'd stayed asleep in his four poster bed. But he had to go and ruin everything.

Sirius had seemed happy when they were together on the astronomy tower. But the next morning he seemed off, by the time he got to potions Sirius wouldn't even make eye contact with him. At one point Remus made an attempt to touch Sirius' hand comfortingly under the table, only to have it aggressively pushed off. That had been the moment that broke Remus. Sirius clearly wanted nothing to do with him. Even their friendship seem to hang in the balance with Sirius rarely even speaking to him.

Remus made it around the lake, shoving his hands into his pockets and stopped for a minute letting his eyes wander back up to the castle. He wondered if Sirius was still asleep, or if he had woken up. If Sirius had even notice that Remus wasn't in the dorm, or if he even cared.

"What's wrong?" A voice said from behind him.

He turned to see Lukas sitting under a tree a book open but his eyes trained on Remus. This was possibly the last person Remus wanted to see in the world.

"Nothing" Remus said starting to walk away but he heard Lukas get up and start walking as well.

"I know you" he said taking stride with Remus now "something is up."

"Anyone who knows me would know I don't like when someone basically calls me a whore in front of the whole school" Remus snapped back. 

"Okay point taken" Lukas said. "But seriously Remy"

"Don't call me that" Remus said picking up the pace but Lukas just matched him again.

"Okay, I won't call you Remy or a whore, now will you talk to me?" Lukas said.

"No"

"Please"

"Why do you care" Remus said finally turning to look at Lukas and seeing a genuine expression on his face.

"I'm sorry okay! Fuck Remus I'm so fucking sorry" Lukas said and for a moment Remus worried he might cry but his emotion just turned into anger. "God I was such an idiot. It was such a thoughtless, think to do. In front of all those people."

Lukas turned and kicked at the ground. It was almost scary how angry he was now and Remus couldn't help but pity him.

"I made a total fool of myself as well. The whole school knows I'm an asshole now. And they are right. God I wish your friends hit me with 70 more jinx's i deserved it."