Secrets (wolfstar)

Part Twenty-One

"He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to talk to us" Peter almost squeaked as he hurried behind James, and Sirius up the the hall of the Hogwarts express. 

"Well that's to damn bad for him" Sirius huffed, "we have always without fail shared a compartment on the train to and from Hogwarts. And we will this time."

James, and Sirius had begrudgingly agreed to let Remus spend the full moon alone. Though they didn't have much of a choice, Remus avoided them at all costs up to the full moon and spilled away the night of without a word. Sirius hadn't slept, he'd sat awake on the ledge, in the cold watching the moon and straining his ears trying to tell if the howls he heard were the wind over the trees, or his friend locked up in the shack in pain as he attacked himself.

Mercifully Remus had survived but according to Madame Pompfrey it was the worse off he'd ever been. He'd been unconscious for days, as Madame Pompfrey dabbed ointments on the deep cuts across his chest. While he was unconscious Madame Pompfrey let Sirius and the other marauders sit by his bedside. They did their homework there, and ate their lunches there. But once he woke up Remus apparently asked the Matron to tell them to stop visiting. A fact that Sirius found out as he showed up one morning, his toast in hand planning one eating his breakfast as he spoke to Remus about life, which had become his morning tradition. He'd been kept in the hospital wing for longer than any other full moon, and when the boys awoke the first day of winter break, they found his stuff packed, and knew he must have come in early in the morning and packed for Christmas.

So now they scanned the train, looking in each compartment for the sandy haired boy, whose absence had caused a hole in their lives.

"This one!" James said pointing at the compartment on his left. Sirius eagerly looked in and saw Remus sleeping curled alone in the corner of the compartment. The first thing that struck Sirius was how much he'd missed seeing his soft and beautiful features each day, and his heart melted at the way his lips had a slight down turn as he slept and his brow was smooth. The second thing that occured to Sirius was how ill Remus looked. He looked as though he'd lost a great deal of weight, his already slight frame had begun to look as though it was merely skin hanging off bone. Despite that fact he was asleep he look tried, with large circles under his eyes.

"Should we go in?" Peter asked craning his head to look over James shoulder.

"Of course we are going in." Sirius said annoyed by the very thought that after being away from Remus for so long he would leave him again.

"But he's sleeping." Peter said, and Sirius wonders if maybe Peter was scared that Remus would tell them off, ask them to leave him alone.

"We'll be quiet." James said and Sirius had to admit this was a bit of a pipe dream knowing them, but the three slipped into the compartment and settled in. The quiet lasted maybe ten minutes, then James pulled out his wizard chess board. He promised he'd be quiet as him and Peter started to play but soon Peter accused him of cheating. "I'm allowed to move the castle on diagonal once a game! It's a rule!"

"It's absolutely not a rule" a gruff voice came from the window and everyone's eyes snapped to Remus who looked groggy but very much awake. Their was a pause but then James the quickly replied,

"Oh come on Moony! Don't tell Pete that he'd have never figured it on his own." James said grinning hesitantly. But Sirius only glanced at James before his eyes settled on Remus and refused to leave. It seemed like for a moment Remus forgot everything that had happened and just felt he was waking up surrounded by his friends like he had 100s of times. But then a slight look of panic settled in his eyes, and Sirius worried he might run, but he didn't.

"It would be nice if for once you'd play a fair game, that way you can see how much you suck" Remus said smiling only slightly. 

"Oh trash talking now are we" James said reclining in his chair cockily. "Why don't you play me then. If you know everything."