Secrets (wolfstar)

Part Twenty-Seven

Sirius' head was pounding, and James shaking him aggressively didn't help. He grumbled and rolled over in a vague hope that James would bugger off. But of course he didn't. Soon Sirius felt the bed shake as James was clearly jumping up and down on his bed. 

"Get up! Get up! Get up!" James said in a sing song voice. 

"Screw off its Sunday!" Sirius said pulling his pillow from below his head and tossed it as hard as he could at James, who was grinning way too much. He caught the pillow easily, and laughed before hitting Sirius with it "Good why did I give you a weapon" 

"Come on! Remus, and Peter are already at breakfast, and if we do not go now we won't be there in time for food." James said, and he really had no right to be this chipper. 

"Fine just get off" Sirius said pushing James leg meekly but he jumped off willingly.  "And don't be too loud"

James just laughed lightly running over to get dressed. Sirius moved a lot more slowly, as he climbed out of bed and got dressed. He looked over at Remus' bed and began to wonder if it meant anything that he hadn't woken Sirius up before he left for breakfast. Perhaps the fair haired boy was mad, or uncomfortable with what had happened last night. Sirius himself was a little over whelmed, definately not mad or uncomfortable but confused. His mind, and body had been aching for Remus since they return to Hogwarts, but he knew he had ruined any chances at that. He didn't deserve Remus, and that was clear. That fact Remus allowed Sirius be in his life at all was a true act of kindness on Remus' part. But Sirius felt selfish, he wanted more, and last night with the help of the fire whiskey he had got more. 

"Oh come on!" James said suddenly his voice suddenly annoyed, and Sirius looked at him confused. "Are we actually not going to talk about last night"

Sirius went pale. Had Remus told him, like actually told him. Why? What did that mean? Was that a good thing? A bad thing? He was sure he had stopped breathing now. What was he suppose to say. But luckily James wasn't even looking at him, he seemed completely off in his own world. 

"Are you seriously not going to ask me about what happened on my walk with Lily?" James said like the fact Sirius hadn't mentioned it as soon as he woke up was a tragedy. 

"Right Evans." Sirius said letting out a sigh of relief he hoped James wouldn't notice "How was it?"

Sirius finally slide on his shoes, and him and James started to head down to breakfast. 

"It was amazing, like mind blowing." James rambled in a daze "Like nothing actually happened, we just walked around, and talked. She told me about her sister, and what her parents think about Hogwarts. I talked about my family too. It was just so easy talking to her. Before we knew it the sun was rising. I only slept like three hours last night, but it was so worth it."

"Wow" Sirius said genuiely surprised "You really like her"

"Well duh, I've only talked about it everyday since first year." James said rolling his eyes. The common room was pretty crowded as it was too cold to go outside, and most students were done with breakfast. All evidence of the party the night before had disappear, and Sirius made a mental note to thank every Hogwarts house elf. 

"Yeah I know but" Sirius started not exactly sure how to articulate what he was thinking "It just always seemed like a bit of a joke. Like you just wanted to get her to like you cause she doesn't. I never really thought you actually loved her."

James was silent for a second as they made their way down the stairs. It was pretty unusual for Sirius and James to not be chatting, and Sirius couldn't tell if he offended James. But eventually James spoke a little softer than normal.