The Long and Winding Road { Dreamwastaken x reader ff }

Chapter 42

My breathing patterns were abnormal, I was losing my mind as I ran to find that motherfucker. My eyes looked everywhere as I ran. "Where is he, where is he," I repeated to myself under my breath.

There he is! I spotted him, his dirty blonde hair. Though his back was to me I could tell it was him. He was walking on the side of the road, his hands were in his hoodie pockets.

"CLAY I ALWAYS HAVE TO TRACK YOU THE FUCK DOWN!" I screamed, grabbing his attention, making him turn to the direction of my voice. "Why can't I be the one running for once," I chuckled at myself as put on my brakes, stopping just a couple feet away from him.

He just stood there, he thought for moment if he should just ignore me and make a run for it, but even though he was fast I would track him down one way or another. Clay didn't say anything, he gave me my most hated enemy, silence.

I was starting to loose my temper over his silent and emotionless reaction to me. I started hysterically laughing like a maniac at the irony, clutching my hands onto the strands near my scalp. "SAY SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING YOU FUCKING BITCH! ARE YOU NOT EMBARRASSED OF YOURSELF?"

He gave me a wordless stare.

I screamed, screamed at the top of my lungs. To my surprised Clay still didn't budge, he didn't even try to tell me off. I turned to him. He was still the same, no movement, nothing to say. I screamed again, crouching down to abuse my vocal chords. I gave an ear piercing scream, It echoed across the streets. My throat hurt so fucking much, but I kept on screaming

Clay couldn't stand me anymore, "STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD! WHAT ARE YOU? SOME FUCKING TODLER?!"

I looked up from the ground, smiling and coughing from my aching throat, "There you are!"

"Tch," Clay scoffed, "I'm guessing you heard the news."

"Are you not ashamed of yourself?" I laughed at his lack of guilt.

Clay went silent again, not saying a single thing.

I took a quick breath, getting my throat ready to be abused again, "SO YOU DECIDED TO TELL ME THAT YOU LOVED ME AND THEN THE NEXT MINUTE YOU LEAVE ME? YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS!" I screamed out. I paused my screaming, waiting for him to reply to my cries. He didn't say anything, nothing.

I tried to get something out of him again, how is he just taking this? "I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT I'M A CHILD WHEN THIS IS THE SHIT YOU PULL ON ME. STOP BEING SUCH A LITTLE FUCKING BITCH! GOD, AND TO THINK THAT I LOVED YOU! JUST FOR YOU TO FUCKING BACKSTAB ME LIKE THIS!" I pushed his shoulders, knocking him back a couple steps.

"I DID IT FOR YOUR SAKE OKAY!" He finally broke his long silence, snapping back at me as he pushed my hands off of him.

I laughed, "FINALLY! A CONVERSATION! I'M NOT SCREAMING AT A FUCKING WALL. ARE YOU NOT GUILTY? ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF? DO YOU HAVE NO REMOSE? DON'T TELL ME THAT I STARTED DATING WITH A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!"

He rolled his eyes, tired of hearing me scream. "YEAH! I'M FUCKING ASHAMED OF MYSELF! LETS NOT FORGET THE FACT THAT I PRACTICALLY BULLIED YOU FOR YEARS AND YOU FORGAVE ME LIKE THAT! WE GLOSSED OVER THE FACT THAT I LITERALLY USED TO BEAT YOU UP IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU, YOU DON'T FUCKING DESERVE ME AND YOU KNOW THAT!"

"SO YOU THINK THE SOLUTION TO THAT IS TO ABUSE ME EVEN MORE? I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FUCKING GUILT!" I glared at him, "I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED, THAT'S WHY I IGNORED THE PAST! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DIFFERENT PERSON. THAT'S SOMETHING I HATE ABOUT THIS GODDAMN WORLD, SYMPATHY, I FELT FUCKING SYMPATHY FOR YOU! I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED!" If both of us didn't look as young as we were, people probably would've thought that we were in the middle of a divorce.

"OH DON'T GIVE ME THAT 'SYMPATHY' BULLSHIT," Clay turned around, his back facing mine.

I grabbed onto his shoulders, forcing him to turn back to me, "SO YOU DID THIS ALL FOR NOTHING? YOU DID THIS FOR NOTHING HUH? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE MADE YOUR MIND BEFORE! YOU INITIATED WHATEVER THIS IS AND NOW YOU'RE BLAMING ME! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU! YOU LOVE TO SEE ME IN PAIN BECAUSE OF YOU! DO YOU LOVE TORTURING ME? WHAT ARE YOU, SOME FUCKING SADIST?!"

"I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR SAKE!" He screamed back at me, but his voice got softer, softer than before.

"MY SAKE," I mocked him, "WHAT BULLSHIT!" I shoved him again. "IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR 'MY SAKE' YOU NEED SOME FUCKING HELP!"

"LOOK! I'M SORRY THAT I HAD TO DO IT THIS WAY, BUT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, I CAN'T TAKE THIS GUILT ANY LONGER!"

"SO YOU DECIDE TO BE SO FUCKING SELFISH THAT YOU HAD TO HURT ME TO CALM IT? YOU ONLY THINK OF YOURSELF! AND HERE YOU WERE CALLING ME SOME SELFISH COLD-HEARTED BITCH!" I grabbed onto the collar of his shirt.

"I'M SORRY IT HAD TO BE LIKE THIS! I REALLY AM." Clay tried to remove my hands from him, but my fingers wouldn't budge.

I scoffed at his apology.

"LET GO!" Clay shouted, his fingers tried prying my hands off of his shirt. "Y/N! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"

I stayed silent, my grip on him tightened, glaring into his eyes as he rambled his bullshit. I was so blinded by hatred I couldn't think or listen to anything.

"I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE LIKE THIS EITHER! I LOVED YOU TOO, BUT I'M ONLY GOING TO HOLD YOU BACK! I TREATED YOU LIKE BULLSHIT, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW I'M GOING TO AGAIN HUH? YES I'M FUCKING GUILTY AND I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!" He wanted to run, he regretted not running earlier when he had the chance. "LET GO DAMN IT!" His hands were trying to remove mine off, scratching my fingers because they wouldn't budge.

I finally let go, earning a relieved sigh from Clay. I stayed in the same place, but my eyes drifted down as I stayed quiet. My eyes were in tears.

In a gentle tone Clay tried to comfort me as he slowly backed away from me, "Look, I'm really sorry."

I screamed as I ran back to him, knocking him to the ground with me. "YOU EVIL PSYCHOPATH!" I screamed out as I sat on his chest. I started slapping the shit out him as I sobbed. He tried blocking the hits with his arms. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH!" I clawed my nails onto his skin. "YOU SELFISH MOTHER FUCKER!" His arm started bleeding. "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" My voice shook from my cries, my throat ached, both from the screaming and weeps coming out of my mouth. I sobbed as I slammed hits onto him.

Though he tried blocking the hits, but he didn't hit back.

I kept on slapping, punching, hitting, anything I could take out my once hidden anger and frustration with. "FIGHT BACK DAMN IT! PUNCH ME IN THE FACE OR SOMETHING! C'MON I DESERVE IT! LOOK AT ME!" I cried as he just laid there and took everything. "FIGHT ME BACK! DO SOMETHING!" I gave up, my arms tired, I rested myself onto of him, sobbing on his shoulder. Love really blinded me

Clay put his hand on my hair, he softly stroke it, trying to comfort me. He didn't know what to do, his mind raced. Was it regret he was feeling?