My Guardian Devil (On-Going)

Chapter 30: Paubaya

"Trinity.."

I heard some one called out to me. It was a male's voice, and it was quite familiar.

"Trie.."

At sa pangalawang tawag niya sa'kin ay minulat ko ang mga mata ko. And when I woke, a set of brown orbs were staring back at me. Nagulat ako nang makita ko si Carlisle at dali dali akong mubangon. Then I saw, beside me was Lucian, natutulog parin siya. Nakatulog din ata ako.

"I enjoyed that kiss...."

Damn. Kahit sa paggising ko hindi padin nawawala sa isip ko ang sinabi niya kanina. Enjoyed the kiss? Na hindi ko na nga namalayan 'yon kasi nahimatay ako. Nahihibang na ata siya.

"Carlisle... This is not what you think. Inala–"

"You don't need to explain. Just come with me." hindi na niya ako pinatapos sa sasabihin ko. Ngumiti siya sa'kin, pero alam ko na may tinatagong sakit sa likod ng mga ngiti na 'yon.

Ang ganda sana ng mga ngiti mo, kaso ang lungkot ng mga mata mo Carlisle...

Sumunod nalang ako sa kanya palabas ng kuwarto at sinundan ko lang siya. Dinala niya ako sa rooftop ng building, kung saan kami lang dalawa ang naroon. Humarap siya sakin and it pained me to see his sad and gloomy eyes, and yet he still manage to smile for me.

"You don't need to smile Carlisle, I know you're not happy."

Pero hindi niya padin inalis ang ngiti sa mukha niya. Instead, lumapit siya sa'kin at hinawakan niya ang dalawang kamay ko. He looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Do you like him?" he uttered.

Kina kunot naman ito ng noo ko. Binawi ko ang mga kamay ko mula sa kanya. Why does he always see the situation that way? Bakit ba palagi niyang pinapalabas na gusto ko si Lucian? Hindi niya ba nakikita na ayaw ko sa kanya? I despise that man.

"No Carlisle, I will never like a stone hearted jerk like Lucian." Walang emosyon kong sagot.

"Kasi ako, gusto kita. Gustong gusto kita." sabi niya tapos lumapit siya sa'kin. Niyakap niya ako, I was so close to him that I can hear his heart beating. It was beating so fast.

"I like you so damn much, and it pains me to see that you don't look at me, the way I look at you. But I know, that you can never be mine." mas hinigpitan pa niya ang pagkakayakap sa'kin.

Sobrang naninikip na ang dibdib ko. Parang ang sikip, at ang sakit sa pakiramdam na marinig ko 'yon mula sa kanyan. I can feel the sadness in every word that Carlilse said.

"Carlisle... Puwede ba na iba nalang ang mahalin mo? 'Wag nalang ako, kasi masasaktan ka lang. I tried to return your feelings pero hindi ko talag kaya, eh. At isa pa, ayaw kong pilitin ang sarili ko na gustuhin ka, kasi pag magmamahal man ako, gusto ko 'yung totoo. Hindi 'yung sapilitan. Mahalaga ka sa'kin Calisle, and when things don't work out between us, I will lose you. I will lose you as a friend. And I don't want that, I want you to be in my life but not in the way you want us to be." I looked him straight in the eyes, those brown beautiful brown eyes.

Matapos ko sabihin 'yon ay ngumiti siya. The sweet smile that I've always wanted to see.

"Being part of your life is good enough for me. But I'm just so damn jealous. Can you just let me do this? Just once, kahit ngayon lang. Then, I promise babalik na ako sa normal." he said.

"Ano ba 'yon? Hindi kita maintindihan." Sabi ko matapos niya banggitin 'yon. He smiled again at tyaka inilapit ang mukha niya sa tainga ko.

"Huwag kang mabibigla."

Sobrang bilis ng pangyayari, and the next thing I know, Carlisle's warm hands are on my cheek, and his soft lips were pressing against mine.

Na-blanko ang utak ko. Tila nawala ako sa sarili ko. I know he's kissing me, but I don't get the same light feeling like when...

When Lucian was the one who kissed me.

I don't understand how can this situation be different? I mean, it's the same. I got kissed, but, I didn't felt the same about it.

Natulala ako sa kinakatayuan ko, hindi ko namalayan na kumawala na pala si Carlilse sa halik na 'yon.

"I'll always be here for you Trinity." Natauhan naman ako nang nagsalita si Carlisle.

"Pero sa ngayon, ipapaubaya muna kita sa kanya."

Dagdag pa niya at tumalikod sa'kin. Pinagmasdan ko lang siya habang naglakakad siya palayo sa'kin. I was frozen in where I was standing. My mind and my body is still in shock.

What the hell just happened?