Content With Loneliness

27. Take Things Slow

Brian’s POV-

I fucking hate airports, I thought to myself bitterly as I weaved through the crowds of people. I just wanted to be home with a beer in my hand and my dog. I just needed a little more patience to get there.

My bandmates were already home. They took the first flight available once our last show ended since they were all eager to see their girlfriends. I chose to grab a hotel and just hang around since I wasn’t in a rush to see anyone like a special significant other. The simple fact alone, that I would be reminded of that once I got home was pretty much what made me decide to stay.

I ended up having a few drinks with some of our crew members who also weren’t rushing to be home, at a bar nearby before heading to a hotel and crashing there for the night. Of course I woke up with a hangover which made me even grumpier as I got ready to board my flight. But I was finally back in California and feeling somewhat relieved to be on break after a few months of touring even though the break would be short.

"Brian!" I knew that squeal all too well. Before my eyes could begin searching, a small body nearly tackled me to the ground. I stumbled back a little and caught myself before we both could go down.

I smiled and tightly wrapped my arms around Cassidy. It was definitely a surprise to be meeting her like this with the way that things went down before I left. But I honestly missed her so fucking much that I didn't even care at this point. She was here right now, and excited to see me. That was good enough for me for now.

The morning after our phone call, which she drunkenly started, I was surprised to see that she actually texted me. I had my hopes up but I honestly wasn’t expecting her to bother, thinking it was nothing but a dumb, drunken mistake to her.

She had texted me saying that she was sorry for bothering me the night before and I replied, assuring her that she hadn’t bothered anyone. There wasn’t much of a conversation after that, or for the following week leading up to this day.

The only time we had talked since then started off with me sending her a picture of Johnny and Jimmy drunkenly snuggled up and passed out together on the couch on our tour bus. I wasn’t sure if she would reply but she did with a laugh, saying that she missed them. We made small talk for the rest of the night until we both went to bed and then that was it for us aside from this moment now.

"I missed you." She mumbled before pulling back from me. "You look good."

"Of course, don't I always?" I flashed her my signature smirk.

She rolled her eyes with a small smile tugging at her lips as she slapped my shoulder. This is what I’ve been missing.

I laughed and pulled her back in for another hug. "I missed you too.”

When we finally made it out of the airport, we decided to go out for lunch which she insisted on paying for maybe as a way of apologizing for everything that’s been going on between us. After lunch, she gave me a ride home and we both agreed that it would be cool if she came inside to hang out for a while, in hopes of getting passed the slight awkward tension that was still hanging in the air around us.

Cassidy’s POV-

 I knew it might have been wrong of me to show up out of the blue in front of Brian like that with the way that I acted before he left. I felt bad for putting that stress on him right before he had to leave for tour but my pride hadn't allowed me to (soberly) apologize for it, at least not yet. But the truth was that I missed him terribly while he was gone and I absolutely hated that I felt that way. I couldn't convince myself to not meet him at the airport and I couldn’t stop myself from jumping into his arms the second I saw him even if I had tried.

And now here we were, lying naked in his bed, trying to catch our breath after a romp in the sheets. I wasn’t planning on having things go like this when I agreed to come home with him to hang out, but then again when did I ever really plan on having things go this way? Somehow we just always ended up like this and it was beginning to come clear to me that it might just always be that way until one of us officially put our foot down and put an end to it, consequently putting an end to us all together.

“I can’t keep doing this Cassidy.” And there it was. Brian’s soft, velvety voice came breaking the silence after a couple minutes.

I clamped my eyes shut, not wanting to cry. And as selfish as it sounds, I didn’t want to hear him say that either. Although I knew it had to come eventually.

“I’m crazy about you…you know that right?”

I nodded my head meekly, not daring to open my eyes to look over at him. “I’m sorry… For everything.”

I felt him shifting next to me as he spoke again. “I’m sorry too.” He said before pausing. “But I have to give it another try. Cassidy.” He didn’t speak again until I opened my eyes and forced myself to look at him. “Please, can you please just give us a chance? Because I can’t keep pretending that I don’t care about you. I can’t pretend that this is just sex for me. And if you would let me, I swear to God Cassidy, I would make you the happiest you’ve ever been in your entire life. I promise, just give it a chance.”

“Brian,” I sighed, “I just… I don’t know. I don’t know what to say.” I mentally cursed myself for the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. Hell I didn’t even want to have this conversation right now because I had no idea what I really wanted.

He groaned and bowed his head down, leaving it hang for a moment before he brought it back up so he could look me in the eyes again. He held my gaze for a few seconds in silence as his face held a tortured expression. “Just say that you trust me. ‘Cause I know you feel the same way Cas, and don’t try to lie to me anymore. Just say you trust me and that you’ll give me a chance… Because otherwise… You’re going to have to leave and not come back.”

“I don’t want to leave.” My voice cracked even when I tried so hard to stop it from doing so. I leaned closer to him, feeling our arms brush against each other where they lie on the bed but that was the only contact being made between us until Brian reached his hand up to caress my cheek.

He seemed to relax but only by a little bit. His emotions were still on full display across his face and I hated the thought of my face doing the same. It made me feel vulnerable.

“So don’t.” He leaned his forehead down to rest on mine, gently cradling the side of my face in his hand. “But you have to promise you’ll give us a shot.”

“I’m scared.” I hated admitting it but forced the words out of my mouth anyway. “What if we fall apart?”

He pulled his face away from mine to look down at me again. “We already did. This is me trying to fix it now. This is the only way that this can be fixed. Or else we’ll just be saying goodbye and have to move on.”

I cursed myself again, hating the thought of that. Hating that it scared me so much to think about saying goodbye to him. With those thoughts in mind, it became pretty clear what I wanted. Or more like it became clear of what I was more afraid of: Saying goodbye and leaving Brian now or taking the chance of us being happy together and possibly having to say goodbye in the future.

“Can we take things slow?” If we were going to have to leave each other at some point, now or later, it would be best to have as much of him as I possibly could before that happened. I decided that I wasn’t satisfied with what we had together before.

His face broke out into a contagious, shit eating grin before he pressed a swift kiss to my lips. “If that’s what you want.” Before I could even get a chance to get another word out, his lips were back on mine in a passionate kiss.

Sorry for the wait and for this being kind of short. But hey, Cassidy and Brian are finally together! :) Thanks to everyone who's still reading and commenting. I'm not sure where exactly this story will be ending but there's most likely only going to be a few more chapters after this. So comment and let me know what you guys think about their new relationship and where you think it'll go from here:)