Wild Smoke

30. Likeness

Seokjin

I have seen women cry for numerous reasons-in stubbornness, in selfishness, in pleasure.. they were all fucking annoying.

So when Joohyun cried to me, her voice dripping with pain and vulnerability, why did I feel bad?

I didn't expect her to be so open with me, much less talk to me. I mean, after our hot session in the study, I expected her to be angry-disgusted even. But that wasn't the case.

She called me and exposed her fears to me without any external motive. She just wanted to be heard. Wanted to be understood.

I was sitting on the arm chair in my room, with the lights dimmed down and the diffuser doing its job. I was on my fifth cigarette and calmly tapping out the ash on the marble ashtray.

With my legs crossed, I solemnly looked at the overhead fan slowly circling and circling itself, its hinges creaking softly in the quiet stillness of the room.

I blew out a huge puff of smoke and was immersed in my thoughts-each of them revolving around Joohyun. Her voice was echoing in the deepest recesses of my mind. I couldn't help but remember the lost dejection she had in her trembling voice again and again.

She was devastated, totally downhearted. I didn't expect her to be so undermined in her own house. This was bad.

The confident women in my eyes was a little ball of innocence all along. I mistook her as a siren. She was fucking far from it. It was her vulnerability that drew me to her.

She was gorgeously likeable.

I was in the confines of my thoughts when I heard my bedroom door creak open.

"Hyung."

I turned my head to look at the sleepy man boy standing by the door.

"What's wrong, Taehyung? Couldn't sleep?"

He shook his head no and lazily walked to my bed. My eyes followed his movements as I took the last drag of my cigarette and crushed it out.

Not a moment later, he sprawled himself on my bed and curled himself in my comforter.

"I'm assuming you'll be sleeping here."

He laughed heartily and looked at me.

"You can sleep here too. Who knows I might fall asleep more easily," he said with a glint in his eyes.

I clicked my tongue and smiled at him. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. After stripping off of my clothes, I turned on the warm water for the shower and stood under the head.

Refreshing.

I was done in a few minutes and wiped myself dry. After donning a comfortable pair of sweatpants, I made my way to the bed and found Taehyung scrolling through his phone, the bright light illuminating his boyish face.

Sometimes I really wonder when did he grow up so fast. It feels yesterday when he was a small little vulnerable boy, afraid of people and quiet in his behaviour. There was a raging life in his aura but he suppressed it without him knowing. Years of abuse did that to him, I reckon.

In some ways, Taehyung and Joohyun are very much alike than I would like to believe. Both were fiery, temperamental and stubborn but had a sweet innocence to them. I swear he looks more like her brother than mine sometimes.

I involuntarily clenched my fists when I remembered that day when I saw Kim Seojoon, his father hit him on his face with a punch. I felt my blood boil at that moment and I vowed to myself that I would protect him. And it's safe to say, I delivered.

"Woah, bro! Are you pissed I'm here?"

I shook my head, lifting myself from my reverie. Taehyung was looking at me with a perplexed look in his eyes.

"What?" I asked cluelessly.

"Your fists. They're so tight I can see veins popping off."

I eased my hands when he pointed it out.

"I'll go if my presence bothers you." He said as he was getting up from the bed.

I sighed. I suddenly grabbed his hand and pushed him on the bed. Before he could understand what happened, I dove inside the covers and laid down comfortably.

"Go to sleep, Taehyung. I was thinking about something else." My eyes were closed but I could sense his pouty face he looked at me with.

"Fine." He playfully grumbled and slid down beside me.

After a long minute of silence, he spoke slowly, "You should go easy on yourself sometimes, hyung."

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. He was quiet but the colour in his eyes were not even close to a dull.

I didn't say anything but sighed aloud. I turned fully towards him and hugged him close to me.

I'm not one for initiating affection but today was an exception. Taehyung was a bit shocked too, I guess but he eased himself and hugged me back.

He rubbed my back in slow motions while I caressed his smooth hair with my fingers. I don't know how long we did this. It was a quiet, bittersweet moment.

One that could be cherished for later.

Our soft breathing and the stillness of the room calmed me down a bit and I found myself drifting off to a dreamless slumber.

I could really get used to this.