Running After The Dusk

39

Halt

Bitbit ko ang bag ko palabas ng gymnasium. I heaved a deep breath before walking towards the parking lot, I made sure that there are no traces of tears from my eyes to avoid getting questioned by Miggy dahil alam kong hindi imposibleng wala siyang narinig o nakita man lang.

"Hello, where's tita?" Tanong ko nang makarating ako sa pwesto niya. He was getting something from his car kaya hindi ko muna siya pinakielamanan. I looked around to find the two boys but I guess they already left.

Sinarado niya ang pinto ng sasakyan kaya agad na lumipat ang atensyon ko sakanya. I smiled immediately when I met his gaze.

"Nasaan na?" I asked again.

Nagpakawala siya ng isang malalim na hininga bago ibigay ang isang panyo. I looked at it with my brows furrowed, bakit niya naman ako bibigyan ng panyo? Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at inilagay ron ang panyo.

"At least be thankful that you left your hanky inside my car." He leaned his back on the door of his car and placed his hand on his waist. "Umiyak ka muna." He added before looking away.

Pinagmasdan ko muna ang panyo bago ko isubsob ang mukha ko roon. Tears started to fall again as I remember what happened a while ago, umiikot sa buong katawan ko ang sakit na narmadaman ko ng mga oras na yon. I heard him let out a harsh breath before pulling me inside his arms to give me a hug. He was caressing my back, slowly.

"Just cry until you feel better." Patuloy pa rin siya sa pagtahan sakin habang hinahagod ang likuran ko. I don't want my friends to know how bad I feel right now, kahit katiting na luha ayaw kong ipakita sakanila but everything is just so painful that I can't even bare to hide it inside.

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap nang maalala kong kakausapin nga pala ako ng mama niya. Pinunasan ko ang luha galing sa mga mata ko, nagtataka siyang tumingin sakin.

"Your mom will talk to me, right? I don't want her to see me like this." Bahagya akong lumayo at luminga linga dahil baka nakikita niya kami ngayon. He laughed a bit before pushing me gently, nagtaka ako kaya pinanliitan ko siya ng mata.

"That's all for the show. Narinig ko kayong nag aaway, Andrei told me to take care of you when everything goes wrong... Surprisingly, it did." He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back again. Sumingha naman ako sa panyo ko bago tumingin uli sakanya.

"Hindi rin kami masyadong nag uusap ngayon, he's the only one who is the first to leave the training... We don't know what's going on with him too." Patuloy siyang nag kwekwento habang nakatingin sa malayo. "Both of you needs a break, Halt. Hindi naman masamang magpahinga kaysa ipilit mo ang sarili mo na kaya mo pa."

Those words really hit me. I've been living all my life on doing my best to please the people around me including my family. I know all of them has a lot of expectations to me kaya hindi ako basta basta gagawa ng bagay na ikababagsak ko. But I didn't know that those words could be applied to love.

Alam kong kaya ko pa. I know that I can still endure the pain of him not talking to me for almost a month now. Kaya kong tiisin lahat kahit alam kong ako lang ang masasaktan, I am willing to do everything just to make us okay pero siya na yung unti unting nawawala. Gustong gusto ko pa but his actions screamed the opposite.

"It was all because of Leiane.... It was always because of her." For the past few months of being together we never really had the major fight. Mag aaway lang kami pero magkakabati rin kaagad, but inside those months, the picture of Leiane is living. Kahit hindi niya sabihin, hindi ako tanga para hindi mahalata.

His mouth formed into a smirk, which does not surprise me anymore because I know that he knows about the past of Leiane and his cousin. He shifted his weight to the other and jammed his hand on the front pocket.