Addicted

Chapter 72.

I continued to speed walk after him calling out to him.

"Zac!" I tried to run now, but the heels were making it impossible.

He began walking out of the house now and I followed after him.

"Zac, please stop!" I call out again.

He stopped abruptly, turning on his heels to face me.

He kept looking down, not meeting my face.

"You know, don't you?" he asks.

I nod, but then realise he isn't looking at me.

"Yes," I finally say.

"My stupid, fucking family can't keep their mouths shut," he groans in between his teeth.

"Are..." I didn't know how to approach the subject. Tears began to well in my eyes from the overload of emotions. "Are you still using?" I finally spat out. I crossed my arms in front of me as if that somehow would protect me from his answer.

"No, God no," he says.

"Are you... are you still dealing?"

He hesitates.

"No," he breathes, and I know he's lying.

I could tell that he was lying and all of the breath in my lungs evaporated.

I turn away from him, feeling my tears fall. I keep my back to him and began walking down his long driveway.

"Alison!" he calls, following me, like I have done for him. He reaches for my arm, but I snap it away, unable to control my anger I turn on my heels back towards him.

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me!" I yell at him, pointing my finger in his face. I take a couple steps away from, trying to reel in my temper.

"I was dealing since I was sixteen, Angel," he justifies.

"Don't you dare call me that," I said referring to my nickname he has heavenly blessed me with. Usually whenever he uses it, I melt, but right now it was like he was using it as bait. Using it as a way to calm me down.

"I don't fucking know the man that I love!" I practically shout at him. "I don't know this person standing in front of me."

He stands at an arm's length away, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"I don't know what to say..." he confesses.

"Are you sober?" I ask abruptly.

"Well, I had a little bit of wine," he tries to joke.

"You know bloody well that's not what I'm referring to," I say, beyond the point of angry.

"I'm three years sober, today," he finally confesses, and a weight is lifted off of my shoulders. "But..."

"There's a 'but'?"

"I still owe a couple people money," he tells me. He looks away from me ashamed.

"Couldn't your parents pay them out?" I say and look towards the overly large house to my right. "It's not like they can't afford it," I say, but something on his face says otherwise. 'Or can't they?" I add.

Maybe his debts have built up so much that even his parents can't pay them off.

"Don't be absurd, Alison. It's not that much. Of course, they can pay them off, but I don't want to bring that shit to them..."

"But they could help..." I add, pathetically.

"I've already put them through enough shit, so I am doing this on my own."

I nod my head.

"So, why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you'll leave me, if you knew..." he says and then it's like the thought just occurred to him. "Will... will you leave me?" he questioned.

I paused.

I couldn't keep doing this, over and over again. I couldn't keep waiting for all of these surprises to come out of the blue. I couldn't keep falling apart every time something new came up.

"You don't tell me anything," I state and tears well up again in my eyes, falling down my face.

"You didn't... you didn't answer my question," he says, the panic was evident in his voice and it broke me. "Are you leaving me?" he says, and he finally meets my gaze.

"You don't tell me anything..."

"You're leaving me," he says, and he begins to pant. I could see the tears well up in his eyes and then drop, falling down his face.

I begin to nod my head and I watch him fall apart in front of me. His hands went to his hair and he pushed his hair back.

"Fuck!" he shouts, and I jump. "Please, don't leave me," he says, and he wipes away the tears falling down his face. "I will tell you everything..."

"You didn't tell me, Zac. I don't care that it happened, it doesn't change the way that I feel about you, but I can't just be with you waiting for all of these surprises."

"It won't-"

"For fuck sake, Isaac, when we first met you had a girlfriend, and didn't bother to even mention it. I can't be with someone who hides their life from me."

I was crying uncontrollably now. "I thought everything was okay, and I just swept everything under the rug, but this just brings it all back up. I can't be with someone like..."

"Like me," he ends the sentence for me. "You can't be with someone like me."

I let out a sob.

"I cannot express how much it hurts to find out these secrets that you have. I can't keep being with you, walking on eggshells waiting for a massive bomb shell to knock me off of my feet."

I look at his face and he was just as much of a mess as I was.

He nods his head slowly.

"I'm sorry, Alison," he begins to shake his head. "I'm so sorry, Alison. I never wanted you to feel that way."

"I know you are."

"I just want the best for you," he adds.

"This is the best for me, Zac."

He takes a step towards me and cups my cheek with his hand, wiping away a tear there with his thumb.

"I know it is... but I'm too selfish to let you go," he says and his chin wobbles as his unshed tears finally fall.

I take a step closer towards him, closing the distance, not only comforting him but comforting me too.

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tight.

"I love you," he whispers against my hair and kisses the top of my head.

"I love you," I tell him. "I just can't be with you."

"Happy birthday to me," he says, bluntly and we both chuckle with melancholy.

After a couple of moments of being frozen in this moment we part.

"I'll get someone to drive you home," he says, softly, but I knew that home was the last place I wanted to be.