𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍

❃ accusations

❃

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆 𝑪𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒆

I'd been avoiding Draco's gaze for the past two days. I spent Sunday alone in the gardens. I didn't want him finding me.

Today was Monday, which meant sitting next to Draco during not only potions, but herbology. Daphne slapped him when I told her what he'd said to me.

She told me he'd almost started crying.

Good.

He deserves it.

I trudged into potions, my first class of the day, sitting down at my desk with a blank stare as Draco looked up from his textbook.

"Flower-"

"Save it."

"I just want to apologize-"

"You want know a good way to apologize? Shut the fuck up," I seethed, avoiding his eyes.

I was angry at Draco for the things he'd said about my home life, angry at Ginny for snitching on me to Potter, angry at Potter for pulling me away and making me look like a damn idiot.

I wanted to scream; I was filled with rage.

"I don't-" he whispered, trying to read my expression.

"If I told Bellatrix what you had said on Saturday you would be fucking dead," I hissed, my fists balling on the table.

Bellatrix was always the one to protect me from my Father. She taught me how to be strong, while Narcissa taught me to allow my tears to spill. She taught me that it was okay feel, while Bellatrix taught me how to manipulate my emotions.

She was the tough, strong, loving Mother I had never had. My Mother was a coward.

She taught me how to warp sadness into rage. Ever since she'd been sent to Azkaban, Draco's house felt as though a piece of it was missing. We could no longer sit down for tea and cakes, discussing school drama while Draco read quietly in the living room.

She'd escaped during fifth year last year, but none of us were allowed inside the Malfoy's household over the summer. None of us knew why.

She'd written me a few letters, which I appreciated.

Draco was silent after I brought her into the conversation. He was scared of her. I was inspired by her.

"Today, we will be learning about Veritaserum. You will not be creating it, however, as it's an incredibly dangerous potion, usually used without the other person's consent. We wouldn't want to reveal each other's secrets now, would we? Open your books to page 56," Slughorn exclaimed, standing from his desk.

I took notes silently. I couldn't help but watch Draco's hand as it gripped his quill, stroking the paper with black ink. Only three days ago he was using that hand for something much different. A pit of guilt began to pool in my stomach.

The past few weeks passed by much slower than I would like to admit. Draco had gotten the hint that I didn't want to talk to him after potions. He was never at breakfast anymore either.

It was strange. I wanted him to leave me alone so badly, but the second he began to ignore me I missed him. It made me feel embarrassed; almost ashamed. I don't know. I can't even figure out my own emotions right now.

We were now walking towards Hogsmeade, Draco excluded of course. He barely showed up to anything anymore, let alone look in my direction.

"Six butterbeers, please," Theo said, sitting us down at a corner booth, across from Ginny snogging Dean, the trio sitting on the other side of The Three Broomsticks watching in disgust.