attention ° nct 127 x reader

✈︎ 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚝𝚠𝚘

"We need to transfer him to a better hospital" your mother told you. She looked too tired, her eyes gave away the fact that she haven't slept in days. You nodded in approval, you would agree on everything she said at this point, just to save your father, everything.

"Your aunt knows someone" she paused.

"Okay, let's put him there" you agreed quickly.

"But it's from China" she continued while looking at your reaction.

China... you thought. It means you'll leave everything here, it means you'll leave them. Thinking that you won't be able to go tomorrow like what you promised Mark made your heart hurt too much that you had to close your eyes.

Everything is tiring you. Everything is draining you. It's too much.

and then you thought, did they felt like this in the thought of leaving you? Why is it so easy for them to leave when it comes to you but it was too hard to leave them yourself?

"Let's go there then" you said with a tired voice.

Your mom made a few phone calls for your father's transfer, she was walking restlessly in front of you. "Mom" you called her.

"You can go home and rest, I could wait for him here" you smiled at her.

"No, baby. You should rest" she softly said while caressing your cheeks.

"After you rest, I'll go home. We could take turns" you suggested and she finally agreed. While looking aimlessly at the door, you received a phone call from Taeyong.

"Yes?" you tiredly said.

"Can we meet?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Are you okay? You sound tired" you asked in a worried voice.

"You know me so well, it's scaring me" he chuckled and it made you more worried.

"Let's meet on our usual spot" the rooftop. You said and you ended the call, you could at least tell him that you'll leave right? So there will be someone who would break the news to the rest of the boys.

-- 

You have to ask the bodyguard to watch your father while you were away so when you arrived there, Taeyong was already standing near the railings, waiting for you.

"What happened?" you worriedly asked.

"You look tired, did you rest?" he asked you instead.

"I was finishing a project, don't worry about me." you assured him, giving him a smile.

"My mom, she wants me to come with her" Taeyong stated.

You don't know if you should be glad that he's finally going to live with his mom or you should be less guilty because you'll leave too and he won't have to keep his promise, or you should be disappointed. You don't know and you're too exhausted to figure that one out.

"You should" you smiled. Looking at the sunset above.

"I said no" he mumbled.

You gave him a look and he looked away, "Why? You should! That's your mom" you said, giving him an encouraging tone.

"I told you I won't leave you" he gave you a confused look.

"Does that matter? I'm just your friend, that's your mother!" you raised your voice.

"I don't care" he stubbornly said, gritting his teeth.

"What kind of reason was that?! That was your dream! You want to live with her right?! Your father will do nothing good on you! He'll keep beating you up until you die yourself!" you shouted, wanting him to realize your point.

"Y-you have to go" you whispered. So you won't feel guilty about leaving him first, so you'll have more reasons to go away. 

"Why are you pushing me away?" he asked, pulling you closer to him.

"Because that's what you want for a long time now, it's the right thing to do" you convinced him again.

"You're the one I want" he said, lowering his head.

"W-what?" your heart stopped.

"I like you, y/n. I don't care if that old hag beat me up to death, I don't want to leave you" he said while shaking his head.

Life is fucking unfair, you suddenly thought. Thinking that you don't have the right to be selfish right now for your father, you shook your head.

"I don't like you" you whispered as you look at his eyes. 

His eyes widened and his grip loosened, "Go, Taeyong." you mumbled, turning your back on him.

You don't exactly know if you like him but your heart hurt so much and you can't even breathe. It hurts, it hurts like hell.