Chapter 45

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The wings of the gigantic creatures glide through the air and set themselves off, a second later we enter the air. The wind blows along my hair and makes my dress fly through the wind. Only at moments like this, I miss my nature. How much I miss being free from the ground, feeling my hair in the wind and feeling the magic flowing in my veins. It feels like I find myself back again, after a very long search.

I feel the magic slowly gliding upwards from within me. My whole body becomes warm and feels as if I am on fire. I look at my arms and see the black under my sleeves, spreading along the rest of my arm. The black veins slowly spread over my whole arm and hand.

I feel my nephew's eyes piercing in my back. Maybe it is not the right time to tell him who and what I really am. Maybe I should have told him at a normal time, without sitting on the back of the White Dragon, looking for Rafiki. I don't know what to say to him either. I am sitting here with a full head and a mouth without words.

He seems to save me from my endless thoughts and brooding 'Celeste', I hear coming from behind me. I know what he means, I know what he wants to hear but I don't say anything. His gentle question of explanation doesn't change the fact that I have lost the words. I look over the peaks of the Andes and try to find a junction where Rafiki might be, also hoping to distract Noa.

I have been stuck in my own thoughts for so long and I hadn't realised it until the moment I sit here, looking for the girl who is perhaps so dear to me that she feels like my own daughter. Maybe it is true that I have always been more of a mother to Rafiki than Nuri was, maybe Nuri knows that too. Am I the reason for the bad bond between the two?

'Celeste are you going to say something? Are you going to explain it to me?' 'No' is my short and only answer. I would like to know what is going on in Noa's head. Would he think about me with disgust? Despising that I have been hiding it all these years? Would he understand? That boy is wise and maybe this is more my insecurity. My insecurity as to whether I have done well all these years. Should I have intervened then?

'At least you could have said to me I wouldn't have asked you a question I just wanted to know' I swallow his words and feel slightly guilty. Noa surprises me every time when words come out of his mouth. Sometimes I forget that he is Chea's son. When I realize it, I notice the resemblance between the two. On the one hand they are patient and on the other hand they are always looking for answers. Both qualities I admire.

Again I say nothing and look over the tops with a layer of snow. I look at the line where the tree stops and the rough stone begins. I look at the deep grooves in stones that the water has left behind over the years. I look at the grass and admire how high that little plant survives. That Andes used to be a rich area of magic. Hundreds of magicians practiced their magic here, it is the place where all our life lines come together.

'Celeste, look' I look up from my thoughts, looking for what Noa means. My eye falls on a small cave in the grooves of the stone. If you would look badly you would only see a small opening in the mountain, when you look further you see a black form in the opening. The black form is big, has a tail and seems to have wings. I don't know how Noa knows we are looking for a black dragon, but we seem to have found it. A feeling of relief goes through my black veins.

I lead the White dragon to the opening of the cave. Slowly we descend further until the animal puts its big legs on the edge of the stone. As soon as I look further into the cave, i see the black dragon of Rafiki. I have lost my words all the time, since my black old magic took over my veins again.

As soon as the White Dragon has come to a standstill, I let my supple derive from the animal. My bare feet touch the cold stone, a shiver goes over my body. I look behind me and see Noa, just like myself, sliding off the White dragon. He looks with his dark eyes into the black hole and hardly seems to believe what he sees. Everyone knows the Nazu from the books but there are few who have actually have seen them. For me, seeing the dragon again is a feeling of missing my own Nazu.

'Is Rafiki here?' Noa's voice sounds shocker, maybe a bit scared. I nod, not knowing if she really is. Slowly I start walking towards the beginning of the cave. The closer I get to opening, the further I can look inside. The black Nazu blocks the opening. As soon as the animal realises that we are here, it shines its head and looks at us. He set himself right on his gigantic legs.  The emotion in his eyes is mainly aggression, which once again makes my body shudder.

I mumble something in unintelligible language for Noah. The animal lets his head hang diagonally. I look further into the cave. I walk on until I am a metre away from the dragon but I can't see behind him if Rafiki is there. Maybe she is hiding further into the cave, maybe worse. So many questions through my head at just the look of the animal I hold out my hand to his head. He seems to be looking for who I am what my intentions are.

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