Chapter 72

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Celeste

The last few days have slipped by like nothing. My days are filled with paperwork, arranging things and long conversations. Rafiki has been everywhere and nowhere these past few days. Sometimes she suddenly walks through the corridors and you don't see her for hours, other times she participates in the social life. Her condition is deteriorating day by day. If she is not out and about with Reviri or busy with the people around her, she sleeps. Tomorrow is her eighteenth birthday and I am anything but looking forward to it.

I am standing in the hall where tomorrow's big party will take place. The streamers are being hung, tables laid and music chosen. What should have been a festive affair already feels like a heavy farewell. 'More to the right'. The servant follows my order and places the garland further up the wall. I nod approvingly as soon as it is to my liking. I walk to the table and place the last of the garlands. My eyes slide to the clock on the wall. Rafiki asked me to be in the forest at 15:00, my time is running out.

'You'll manage the rest?'. One of the servants turns my way. 'Yes ma'am'. She makes a small bow through her knees and bows her head. I smile at the lady and nod, 'If you need any more help, ask Nuri'. Sometimes I wonder if the servants still feel the same as they used to, a slave to the court. I have always tried to treat them with dignity and equality, no one is worth more or less despite their position. I know what it's like to be treated like a piece of dirt and I don't wish that on anyone.

After my words, I leave the room and walk through the corridors. Servants are walking everywhere with things for the party, from garlands to drinks. It's been a while since there was a party here, especially with Rafiki in charge. I make my way through the corridors to the front door. The guards open the doors with a small bow, a fresh wind meets me. I grab my black skirt to make sure I don't come down the stairs without a scratch. Here, too, the build-up to the party is unmistakable. Crush barriers and lights decorate the area around the stairs.

My heels find their way from the stone steps to the road, from the road to the grass. Rafiki told me to see her at the clearing. The closer I get, the bigger the black dot in my view becomes. The black dot turns out to be Reviri with Rafiki on his back. As soon as I am close enough I see Rafiki wearing her rider outfit. That outfit will forever take my breath away, as it does now. Rafiki seems to notice me and jumps off her dragon. The black outfit looks good on her. The long fabric, which forms a sort of keep, just barely hangs on the floor. The cloth around her neck, which normally belongs to her head, and the tight body make me smile.

Before you say anything. 'You look good', I begin. A smile graces her pale lips. She walks towards me but stops just short of my feet. 'Thank you. Unfortunately, I didn't ask you to come and admire the clothes. I asked you to come because it is time to give you something back'. The girl's once quite powerful voice has softened, you can hear the tiredness. I swallow because deep down I know what she means. 'First I want you to look'. Rafiki turns round and whistles on her fingers. The legs of the black animal start moving.

Rafiki's feet start moving until she seems to be running after Reviri. Her feet leave the grass and float through the air, in a graceful leap she ends up on the dragon's back. Reviri's wings come into motion and take them high up to the clouds. With all my attention I follow the black dot in the sky, admiring it. A turn, a curve and even a somersault. This is not just any flight, it has an emotional charge. I feel it in the bond between me and Rafiki. I feel her emotions and hear her thoughts.

I realise later than I would like that this is a farewell flight. I feel Rafiki's sorrow and pain running through my veins. I feel her enjoying the air in her hair, the wind whistling past her ears. The feeling of pain in her heart takes me back to my last flight, it is an indescribable feeling. You could compare it to giving up your freedom, maybe even your happiness. Digging deep into Rafiki's head, I hear her thoughts.

I am going to miss you, I am going to miss this. I don't know if I can do without this feeling. Maybe I shouldn't let this count as my last flight, maybe I should do it tomorrow. I don't want this, I can't do this. No. This has to be it, no matter how painful. One day I will know this feeling again, for now it is a goodbye.
I try to answer, to stand by her. She has shut me out so that I am only nailed to the ground powerless.

I don't know how long I stare at the sky, listening to Rafiki's thoughts. I would like to describe in all words how heartbreaking those last minutes are, but there are no words. A last flight is like losing a loved one, heartbreaking. The last wind, the last clouds and the last view are things you will carry with you forever. As soon as the dot in my sight gets bigger again, I know that the moment is there. The moment I have hoped for and feared for years.

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