The Night Rider

Chapter 16

Out of aggression, I throw the book against the wall. Desperately, I let my hands slide through my black hair. I'm out of my options, desperate and lost. I spend hours in this library looking for that one answer, the answer that can change the future. The answer that will never come. I hope for the impossible.

I scream through the room full of paper and wood. I would like to take her place, everything as long as Rafiki survives. 'She's...awake'. I look up and I see Jamie standing in the doorway. He's looking at the dozens of books on the floor. I don't know how long I've been in this room but I do know that the book that just flew against the wall wasn't the first.

Jamie says nothing and walks towards me in slow steps. I put my arms on the wooden table in front of me. I bury my head in my hands and close my eyes. Jamie's hands find my shoulders, not much later. The fine tingling I shouldn't feel shooting through my nerves. The heat his hands produce in my body is like a poison, an addiction that is forbidden. I wonder if the man knows what his hands cause.

'What did you feel?', his question. I sincerely hope he doesn't mean his hands. I'm not answering that until he fortunately clarifies himself. 'With Rafiki'. The restrained breath finally leaves my mouth. His hands still haven't left my shoulders. They don't move, they just give off their warmth there.

I doubt if I should tell the man that his daughter is experiencing an intense pain, every second of the day. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything. I'd give him more reasons to worry about his dying daughter. He's quiet and waiting for his answer, which he's not going to get. I can't get the answer on my lips. Not just because I can't tell Jamie, but because I'm going to believe it myself.

All this time I've been trying to live in the thought that there's a way to help Rafiki, to keep her alive. The further my quest goes, the further the understanding of the treasure seems to be. 'Someday I'll tell you,' is the best answer my head can come up with. I slowly get up from the chair and turn around to the blond man. His eyes are worried, confused and in pain. I don't want to imagine how the man feels.

Jamie drops into place on the floor. His legs crossed. He lets a sigh slip over his lips and focuses his eyes on the floor. I can see the pain in his eyes. 'Don't you miss the life of the past?' I'm surprised by the unexpected question. I look at him questioning, asking for more information on this unexpected question.

'Don't you miss life before Nuri became queen? Life when Chanel was queen? When we still had to hunt after Elien? When Chea was still fighting life? Life was so much less complicated back then' I look at him in pain. I can't deny I don't miss those times. After Chanel's death, our world changed more than we ever expected, ever hoped for.

I slowly walk towards the blond man and kneel down in front of him. With my finger I lift his chin, so he has no choice but to look me in the eye. 'Of course I miss the free life of the time, I miss times many centuries earlier perhaps even more. Life turns the way it wants, you'll have to bow with it before you get lost'.

Before I can continue my words I'm gagged by Jamie's lips. A kiss that lasts less than a few seconds is planned on my lips. If my lips didn't have the amount of nerve as they have, I wouldn't even have felt it. That one second is enough to make my eyes expand into saucers.

Jamie seems to be surprised by his own action. His eyes shoot short from my lips to my eyes and back. Without saying a word he stands up and straightens his suit. 'Maybe we should check on Rafiki,' he mumbles. I would like to do and say so much at this moment, my mind is holding me back and maybe that's better too.

'Seems like a good idea', I mumble. I also get up from my crouching position and look at Jamie for one last second. I walk past him out of the room, leaving the books thrown against the wall. In silence we continue our way through the corridors of the castle, not knowing what and if we should say anything. We are surprised and confused by each other's action. A married man shouldn't kiss another woman, and we both know that. We both know there's a band that shouldn't exist.

Hallway by hallway slips by without a word. My head seems to be a black hole I'll never be able to get out of, until something finds an opening. 'Shall we stop saying hello?' Hearing that voice stops me. . I know that voice better than anyone. I missed that voice like I lost my own child. That voice tells me a part of myself is back with me. I never thought I'd hear that voice again.

I turn around and look into Novak's dark red eyes. The black-haired young man is on the other side of the hallway. His long black coat draws him better than I can remember. His little wrinkles tell me that the last time we saw each other was longer than I thought. Just the image of him in front of me makes my heart beat faster.

I grab my skirt with my hands and don't know how fast I have to move my feet. My heels make short taps against the floor as I continue my way to the man. A smile draws his lips. His arms open as a sign of welcome. The moment his arms are woven around me, I feel at home for a moment.