The Night Rider

Chapter 25

Slowly my feet bring me further over the stone floor. The cutting pain that burns my veins almost makes me think this is a good idea. I'm starting to believe that this is really going to work, that it's going to be a plan. No matter how much trust there is by the others, I haven't seen it in ages.

My pain, actions and losing myself have changed me more than I had foreseen. The cutting pain has driven me to madness, has pulverized me. Although I knew what was in store for me, the actual result is the worst imaginable.

Celeste thinks this will be a good solution, thinks it will work. I don't see the hope, I don't have the will. My feet slowly bring me to my downfall and that's all I know, maybe the only thing I want. The black lines that have drawn my body from head to toe say it's enough.

I don't know what I'm looking up the most. Losing myself in totality or coming back here. Sometimes I still wonder what I'm trying for. I try to tell myself that one day I will be free again, see Reviri again or if this will ever be worth it. None of my thoughts are credible at this moment, at this moment I only feel the darkness within myself.

I look around me through the hallway until the infamous door comes in my sight. In front of the door there are servants. Their faces are serious and full of misplaced pity. The closer I get to the door, the clearer it becomes to me who is lined up, my regular servants. If I had still felt emotion, the tears would now be in my eyes.

As soon as I am a few meters away from them they turn their heads down and make a deep bow. A bow of respect, loyalty and compassion. A bow that will be written deep in my thoughts for the rest of my time. My eye falls on David standing at the door. His hand is on the doorknob. His gaze is upon me with the most emotional eyes imaginable.

I walk on a slow pace past the servants. My head is focused on the door in front of me. 'Rafiki!' I'm startled by the voice I didn't expect to hear anymore. I don't want to turn around anymore, I don't want to see his eyes. I try to keep looking straight ahead but in vain, I can't bear the thought. I slowly turn around and look into his eyes.

He accelerates his pace while I can no longer do anything but stand still and look at him. He stops in front of me and grabs my hands. He looks deep into my eyes and lets his fingers slide over the black lines. His other hand slides into his jacket pocket. With a closed fist his hand glides out of the black coat and his fist hangs over my open hand.

His eyes glide to my hand in which I feel something cold gliding that same moment. I know what it is without having to look at it. My feeling couldn't have been more double than right now. The feeling of lost and the feeling of security at the same time. I still look deep into his eyes, waiting for an explanation.

He folds my fingers close to the silver and black in my hand. My hand encompasses that which is so dear to me, even without its fixed content. 'Keep it with you, cherish it as you have always done, let it bring back your memories and let it give you back your life'