The Night Rider

Chapter 24

'As punishment, the dawn had linked her to the darkest source of our magic, Yin. The two fish that swam around each other forever to keep our magic in balance,' she continues her story. 'Her heartbeat was connected to the black fish. The further away she got from the fish, the slower her heart would start beating, too far and her heart would stop. If the fish was killed, she would die'

I can't get me the image of my mother and a fish. I don't see my mother as that horrible killer, more like a slave of the people. The idea that she would have killed so many people is something I can't get into my head. 'How did she get away from Yin?' I ask. Malia changed her face from the happy expression she had, to frowned upon.

'She found a way to get witches close enough to kill and increase her powers. She found a spell strong enough to take over Yin's powers and kill the fish, she took over his position'. My eyes are expanding, I can't believe my ears. 'It was a heavier burden than she had anticipated. The darkness ran through her veins, it poisoned her'

Automatically my eyes glide to my hands. I look at the black veins engraved deep in my arms. The more I hear about my mother's actions, the more I begin to know myself. I have blamed her for a lot of things in my life, but only now for my coming death. She did a spell that was done by few, a deadly and infamous one. She was strong enough and managed to break the bond, at least that seems to be the case'.

'The Narvik Spell,' I mumble as my fingers glide across the lines. I am starting to realize more and more that my curse was not created by doing the Narvik spell, I am wearing the magic of Yin. 'We always thought Yin had perished doing that spell, we never noticed your mother again. We thought it until you were born'

As if my life wasn't complex enough, I seem to be attached to the spirit of a fish. I wonder why I am only hearing this for the first time in my life. My fight for answers stopped when I found a woman who almost killed me. My own mother never told me what her childhood was like. I doubt for a moment whether I should ask the question on the tip of my tongue, the question I've been looking for an answer to all my life.

'Is there a way to get the spirit out of my body? To remove the curse?'. I take a sip of my wine when I don't really want to look at Malia. I hear her swallow before the answer rolls over her lips. 'The only way to get Yin out of your body is to leave your body by yourself' As soon as the words enter my brain I have hope for a second, only then do I realize that there is only one way.

'Death,' I mumble. I look at Malia from under my eyelashes. She gives a single nod before she empties her glass. 'As far as I know, that's the only option". I sigh and drink my glass too. I slowly lose myself in my thoughts, the thought that my hope is really over. I will die without ever having seen the world. I will leave Reviri behind and never become queen.

Malia gets up but I don't look at her. I've turned my gaze to the grass and contemplate my death. I'm thinking about the way I'm going to die, getting weaker and weaker. I contemplate the amount of pain that awaits me and the grief that will befall me. I never wanted to believe it, I had hope. I realize now that my hope has really perished.

I am taken out of my mind by a warm feeling on my arm. I look up and see Malia's hand on my wrist. The woman kneels down in front of me and looks at me. 'Never forget that Yin isn't just a curse, it's a mighty force you can use' I'll let the words take effect on me, that's one way I hadn't looked at it yet.

Malia gets up and pulls me up on my wrist. 'Now we go to bed, tomorrow I'll take you to creatures who can teach you how to use your powers for yourself' She's smiling. I only nod because I don't know what to answer. All the time a question is burning on my lips that I didn't want to ask. I'm picking up the words.

'Shall I lose myself?', it glides over my lips full of fear for the answer. The fear of turning into the monster in me chases me in my dreams. The fear that I will no longer be able to think about my actions, the fear that I will let half the world burn. I disgust myself that I enjoy seeing people die, seeing pain.

Malia grabs both my hands and looks deep into my eyes. 'I would like to tell you that that's not true, that you will die without pain but I see that people have said that enough to you already. I'll be honest when I say the road ahead isn't easy' That you'll change and do the wrong thing. I swallow her words and feel a clot forming in my throat.

'Life won't be easy with time, you'll fight yourself, do things you don't want to do and feel things you don't want to feel. Though none of this sounds like something you will look forward to, with your fight there will come times that you will cherish forever. Yin will kill you but also make you one of the most powerful in our history'