The Night Rider

Chapter 42

I take a step back in shock. The three pairs of eyes are all focused on me in a second. I can barely bear the thought of losing my memories. 'I'd rather die,' I mumble slowly. It is true, I'd rather die than suffer a lifetime and start all over again. By now it is clear to me how unbearable puberty is, learning everything all over again.

'Rafiki please try to understand. Without you our world is dying. If you die, the lines die'. Call me selfish when I say that I wouldn't care for a second. I still stare at the black grass along the lake. 'You don't have a choice, we need you'. This time the words don't come from Celeste's mouth but from my mother's mouth.

Just when I hear her voice my blood starts boiling. 'You need me? An uncontrollable killer?'. I bite the words to her. She shakes back a bit. 'Rafiki'. Celeste's voice is cautionary, trying to make me keep my mouth shut. In vain, unfortunately. 'No nothing Rafiki, I've had my mouth shut long enough'.

A hand is put on my shoulder, the hand of Noa. The way it hangs normally calms me, it doesn't help a crack now. 'You are the reason that I am the monster that I am. You were so selfish to want a child, to do that fucking spell. For years you locked me in that castle to keep me from what you did to yourself. I'm walking around with a pain that's hard to control, I have a list of murders on my name because of you that's longer than you'd think. Above all, you are the reason I'm dying'.

The words are harsh and totally sincere. They hurt her and that is exactly what I want to achieve. I want her to suffer under the words, I want her to feel the same pain that I feel. 'That's not true,' my mother murmurs. I laugh mockingly and cross my arms. 'That's it, and you know it' Her eyes are hurt and guilty at the same time, exactly what I wanted to achieve. 'Before you want to work each other into the ground I want to add something'. Our eyes glide to Noa, the young man who still stands behind me.

He takes a step forward and looks into the black water. 'Rafiki I think you have no choice but this. Have you thought about what will happen when Yin becomes stronger and stronger in your body? your own soul will be oppressed until you are so weak that Yin will take over completely. The pain you feel in your veins will become stronger by the day, it will destroy you'. Noa turns around and looks at me with tearful eyes. his emotional look is so unexpected that I almost feel sorry for him.

He walks towards me in quick steps and grabs me by the cheeks. I am so surprised that I can't resist and stare at him breathlessly.
You will turn into Yin, he will take over your soul and you will become the evil itself. There is no peaceful death ahead of you. Either you surrender to Yin and become the monster you fear so much or you accept your only optio. His dark eyes look at me so penetratingly that I am almost sucked away.

As soon as I seem to find my words again I lay my hands on his, the hands that are still on my cheeks. 'Let me think about it for a night'. My words are soft but hard enough for Noa to hear. Noa answers with his lips softly pressing mine. I arrange from the unexpected but loving action. My hands grab his shirt and pull him closer to me.

I am intoxicated by the soft touch of my lips, so much that I seem to forget what a mess my life is. 'Jo get a room!' I look up irritated at Elien who has just walked in. He looks at me and his son with a grin from ear to ear. 'Wait. Kiss each other again'. I look at Celeste with raised eyebrows. Her eyes are enlarged. Before I can ask her where this strange request comes from Noa follows her orders.

The kiss is very short, somewhat uncomfortable under all the eyes you feel in your back. As soon as Noa retreats, Celeste comes at a fast pace. She grabs my hand and turns it with the palm up. Just now you can see how the blue color of my life lines changes back to black. Celeste's eyes are big but cheerful. 'Noa you and Novak are going to connect Rafiki to the lines of Chea, Nuri and me'

We both raise our eyebrows to her assignment. 'So stupid that I didn't realize it before. Noa is the son of Chea which means that after Chea he has the biggest connection with Yang. I first wanted Novak and Elien to perform those spells but the further I thought about it the more difficult it became. Both Novak and Elien have a bigger connection with Yin than with Yang. Your life lines are turning blue instead of black'.

'Is that why my pain is disappearing?' The words went out of my mouth before I could think about it. 'When will your pain disappear?'. Noa looks at me in amazement. 'When I kiss you, touch you'. My words are soft and I hardly dare to pronounce them. Before I can say or think anything else Noa grabs my cheeks again and pushes his lips as hard as he can against mine.