The Night Rider

Chapter 87

The corridors are almost empty, the sound fades into the background. Slowly, my red heels slide across the floor, my dress in my hands to reach my destination unscathed. I could print the building in my memory but I don't take the time. As if my body is moving by itself, I walk to my mother's office. They say your life flies by when you die. Although I am not dying, it is happening.

I see myself running through the corridors, playing as a child. I see myself sneaking in over the roof after my first flight on Reviri. I see myself standing at the door of Celeste's office, listening secretly. My childhood may not have been exactly what you wish for or what I would have liked, yet it's the beautiful memories that I cherish.

I look at the wooden door that comes further into my view. My feet move to the point that I am standing half a metre away from that door. For a moment I stand still, realising that I will not get out of that door as it is. I take a breath of air and put my hand on the knob. I turn the knob and push the door open. My eyes have to get used to the dark until I can see what's inside. My parents, Celeste, Chea and Novak are at the end of the room, only a few candles illuminate the darkness. In the middle of the five is a table with the infamous bowl on it.

I close the door softly, staring at the scene before me. I hardly dare move from my spot, totally petrified. My body seems to change state, completely numb one moment and terrified the next. 'Come Raf'. Celeste's soft words, the hand she holds out, make me switch back to numb. My heels slide across the floor towards the bowl on the table.

The sound of the party is no longer audible, it's dead quiet. I have often imagined this situation, experienced it several times, and yet it is different. It feels chilly and on the other hand very warm. I have looked up to this moment, despised it and tried to run away from it. Now that the moment has arrived, I am still not used to the thought, I still have the urge to run away.

My last step towards the table is heavy, my last step for the next 80 years. I blow out my bated breath and look at the contents of the bowl. The bowl is filled with water, coloured by herbs, and it moves by itself. When I look closely into the water I see that it is not normal water, I see the reflection of another world. I see people walking through streets, trains running and trees moving in the wind. The realisation that this is the world I am going to live in doesn't sink in until later.

I avert my gaze and look at the person in front of me. Celeste is standing opposite me at the table, her brown eyes peering into mine. To Celeste's right is Chea, still in her blue dress. To Celeste's left are my parents with a heavy look on their faces. You can feel the discomfort floating in the room. 'In this bowl is the portal to the human world, through the barrier Chanel once made,' my view is confirmed.

'I am going to cast the spell with Novak. As soon as you touch the edge of the bowl, your soul is expelled from your body. Your soul disappears into the water, your body stays behind. We put your soul in the human world, born again as a human. Your body stays here, the heart keeps on beating like you're in a coma'. I look at Celeste and just nod. I don't know what to say anymore, the thoughts whirl through my head. My gaze drifts back to the water, observing how the world looks there.

My thoughts are interrupted by someone pulling me into a hug; I recognise my mother's blue dress. The hug is very short but full of emotion. She grabs me by my shoulders and holds me in front of her, staring deep into my eyes. A tear digs from her brown eyes, sliding down her cheek. She doesn't say anything, just looks at me for a few seconds and then lets go.

My gaze goes back to Celeste, her gaze a mix of pain and calm. 'Let's get started,' she says softly. Celeste takes hold of Chea and my mother's hands. Novak comes to stand beside me and briefly puts his hand on my shoulder, sending me an encouraging look. For a second Celeste stares at me, before closing her eyes. I stand dead still, watching the three women at me, watching Celeste's mouth move.

'Corpus autem a lifeline. Ex corde ad magica. A sanguine ad animam meam'. Slowly Celeste's lifelines begin to light up in their black colour, the water in the bowl begins to move. The eyes of Chea and my mother closed. 'Yin et Yang Maii custos animae suae servat et justo tueri'. The blackness of Celeste's life lines spread out to her fingers, continuing to my mother's and Chea's hands.

The black light spreads through the other two women's lifelines, from their fingers to the rest of their bodies. Novak keeps his eyes open, grabs my hand and starts talking to Celeste. The water in the bowl begins to spin, as if a tornado were hitting the still water. 'Posuit animam corpus. Posuit animam porta. Et alterum orbem terrarum eam experientia'.

The water starts to spin so hard that the hair of the three women is pushed into the air. I want to take a step back, to flee. Novak holds my hand tightly, sends me another encouraging look. Slowly, he pulls my hand towards the bowl, towards the spinning water. The fear has taken over me and is mixed with a total calm. The prospect of not having to live with the pain, the envy or the killing, makes me calm.

'Ducit animae agendum pugnare. et cor pulsu. pugnam ipsam animo paterentur'. Celeste opens her eyes, a red glow shining through her pupils. She smiles small, nods her head towards the bowl. I push a last little smile through my lips. My body is taken over by the calm, thinking of the pain disappearing. My heartbeat is normal, my breathing regular.
Celeste's eyes close and that's when I know the moment has arrived.

My eyes go to the spinning water, my hands lift, together with Novak, above the rim of the bowl. 'Benedicat anima, ut sic habere singulos, ut in personale. Fiat vivat'. My hands come closer and closer to the stone edge until there is not even an inch left. I take a last deep breath, look at the women in front of me and then the moment has come. I place my hands on the stone.

My head starts to spin, my body tingles with every fibre. The feeling starts with something like being drunk, goes to being heavily drunk and beyond. My eyes close from the spinning, nothing stands straight anymore. I do not panic, it does not hurt. Despite the fact that everything around me is spinning and tingling, a sense of peace overwhelms me. For the first time that I can remember, I feel no pain, no worry.

The blackness before my eyes begins to transform into a light blue light, shining in such a way that I want to open my eyes, but I cannot. My whole body feels like it has been taken over by concrete. I can no longer move my fingers, turn my head or even swallow. I slowly lose my sense of time and space, my body slackens. I am no longer aware that I am breathing, I do not even know if I am still standing.

The light blue in front of my eyes gets brighter and brighter, until it totally blinds me and sucks me in. My head becomes light, my consciousness disappears and even my breathing seems to stop. I seem to be trying to grab the edge of the bowl but my muscles are out of control. The pale blue light becomes so bright that it turns white, my body slackens.

Before I leave my whole life behind, I just feel myself falling into two familiar arms. I leave behind everything I know, everyone I love and all the security I had. I start a new life, a new opportunity.

The end