The Night Rider

Chapter 44

'Okay, now that that's settled, we're going to find Rafiki'. Noa is making his sixth attempt, today. I sigh deeply and consider my pros and cons. The advantages: it is probably the only way to find Rafiki, disadvantages: Noa knows I'm not who I say I am. The longer I think about these points, the more I start to realise that the disadvantages may not weigh as much as the advantages do. I need to be able to put my own pride aside, especially when Rafiki is on the verge of dying.

As soon as Noa looks at me with big eyes while I'm actually starting to walk in his direction, I know I've made the right choice. His gaze is priceless, taking away a little of the light nerves that have built up in my body. He wants to turn around as soon as I almost stand in front of him. I stop him by putting a hand on his shoulder and looking deep into his dark eyes. 'I don't want to hear a word, not a word', I won't give any further explanation. Leaving Noa in amazement I walk to the door.

In silence we walk through the long corridors towards the dragon stables. To my surprise Noa says nothing and follows me on a quick pass. It remains a strange realization that I started my life in a castle full of problems, and I'm going to end it. I have been thinking about what Chanel wrote to me in her book for the past two weeks. She told me that I shouldn't attach Rafiki's body to anyone dear to me. Her report came too late, I had already connected her body to myself.

Her announcement meant that that person will probably not survive the connection. I still had a small chance to defeat Yin if I didn't connect to Rafiki's lifeline as well. We can say with certainty that I am not going to survive this. If Yin Rafiki is not going to be fatal, he will be my downfall. I know this, but no one should ever know this. No one needs to know that I am dying, that I am ending my own life in a way. It is a choice I support, a destiny I have lived for the last few years.

Our arrival at the stables brings us to a white dragon, the dragon that was once Chanel's. Chanel was not a magician at all and wanted to stand with her feet on the ground, but that one dragon was enough for her to be away from time to time. The dragon is so white that it seems to be made of porcelain. Its scales shine in the light of the sun, shining through space. His blue eyes look at us with a questioning undertone, searching for the intention of our visit.

As soon as my fingers touch the scales of his head I return to my origins. There will not come a moment in my life when I will lose my original nature. I have tried to make it disappear far into the valleys of my soul, searching for a place from which it will never return. I have long avoided the dragons, afraid of what the touch will bring me. I seem to have become afraid of my own nature, of my own origins.

'Celeste'. Noa takes me out of my deeply rooted thoughts. I look at him, still half of the world through the memories this white animal brings to me. Let's go. His tone is soft, almost fragile. His eyes shoot over my face as if he wants to read what is going on in my head. I just nod and want to free the dragon from his stable. 'Shouldn't we saddle him?'. I can beat myself in front of my head. I'll be back in my habits in no time that I can't adapt to today's customs.

Saddling a dragon was not common at the time when I was still a Night Rider. With my bare feet on the scales of my black Nazu was the way that brought me closest to the dragon, closest to my magic. 'No'. My answer is short and rather ill-considered. Maybe it would have been smarter if I had said yes, as if I had pretended that I thought it was normal. But I can't do that. If Noa is about to find out where I come from, we will do it my way.

Before the boy with his dark eyes can ask me something or go against my decision, I open the dragon's gate. The steel fence opens with a light crackle. The white dragon's silk wings come out and give the animal an even more magical look. With its large legs it takes its first step from its cage. I put my hand on the nose of the beautiful white animal and accompany him outside the stables. I am completely in my element and lose myself without realising that Noa is watching me.

I slowly walk the animal outside and enjoy the sight of the white scales reflecting the sun. As soon as the animal is completely outside the stables it spreads its wings and shakes its head. A gust of wind that makes the trees shake slides past me. My black dress and hair glide through the air and make me feel at home. I walk towards the giant animal and put my hand on the side of its back. I kick my heels out in the grass.

The slightly wet grass feels cold against my feet, almost giving my back a shiver. I put my right foot on the wing of the animal. The silk-looking white wing feels like concrete under the sole of my foot. I turn away from the wet grass and walk my way up to the beginning of the animal's neck. This is the first time in more than a hundred years that I feel the hard scales of a dragon under my feet. I didn't think I would miss this simple touch but now that I feel this it feels like I have found something I had lost for a long time.

I sit at the beginning of the animal's neck, just at the end of its back. I then turn around to Noah and see my nephew looking at me from the ground with amazed eyes. I see in his eyes thousands of questions playing through his head to which I am not going to answer. Without saying anything he walks up through the animal's wings until he has come to sit behind me. 'na apogeiotheí'. It leaves my lips like those one words you could never and should never say.