Knowing Me, Knowing You

Cassandra

It wasn't even a full twenty-four hours later that Trevor called Jessica over. With how late it was when he left Dante's house, Trevor was unable to ask Jessica over. The moment he left his (ex) boyfriend's house, his mind was set. Despite the full blown panic of breaking up with Jessica, he refused to lose Dante through it all.

From the moment he met Dante, he was smitten. While it may have been over an online forum where he confessed he was in the closet due his extremely homophobic parents, Dante's kindness and understanding radiated through the screen and touched his heart. He knew he had to meet the boy he was beginning to fall in love with, and when he finally did, it was far from a disappointment. He loved everything about Dante, and each new tidbit he learned was intriguing.

Dante had no issues with keeping their relationship a secret since it had to do with his parents rather than shame. Trevor had never been ashamed of Dante, but he always felt Dante was ashamed of him. Every day he had to watch Trevor flirt with a girl he had no romantic feelings for and kiss her and love her in front of everyone. The only reason he got away with not having sex with her was by claiming he was waiting until marriage due to religious reasons, which she thankfully respected. He always feared the day when Dante would resent him for being with her, and in a strange way, he was more thankful he made Dante decision based on Jessica's feelings rather than his resentment towards him for being public with someone else.

Trevor had every reason to be terrified of what was going to happen next. He already decided he was going to be as truthful as possible to both his parents and Jessica about his reasoning for breaking up with her without revealing he was gay, as he knew honesty was going to be his best chance of getting away with it. After all, his parents took a couple breaks in their relationship, so they'd hopefully think of this as being one and that he'd eventually get back together with her. Then he'd make it through the rest of his senior year in peace and move out the moment he graduated.

Sitting at the bay window in the living room, Trevor anxiously stared out the window as he waited for Jessica to arrive. When he saw her headlights flash into the window, he grabbed the small box of all her belongings and walked outside, placing it on the front doorstep so he could talk to her without it being a distraction.

"What happened? Did you murder someone and need me to help bury the body?" Jessica joked, hoping to ease the obvious tension radiating off him. When he stared at the sidewalk between them, she knew things were really bad. Holding him by his biceps, she lowered her head to stare up and smile at him. "Hey, baby, what's wrong? You can tell me anything."

He had to tell her. The problem with breaking up with her in that moment was that he didn't know what to say. He knew he had to come out and tell her it was over, but he wasn't sure how to begin a conversation like that. Dante was his first partner, and Jessica was his beard. He knew he'd eventually have to break up with her, but after his dilemma with Dante, he knew he had to rush the process. Since it was still a delicate time for Jessica, he knew he had to be gentle, but he didn't know how gentle was too gentle.

"Trevor?" she whispered.

"I want to break up," he managed to softly say.

Dropping her hands from him, Jessica stared at him in shock. Slowly, she began to chuckle before shaking her head. "What?"

"I know this is going to sound harsh, but...I just don't see a future with you. After high school...that's it. But I don't want to wait until the end of the year to tell you. You should know what I'm feeling."

"I- I don't...understand," she mumbled. Her glossy eyes stared into his, and she sniffled. "I thought you were going to propose to me."

Trevor bent down to pick up the box and handed it to her. "I'm sorry. Here's all your stuff back."

"Oh, God, this is really happening," she said through a sob. "You really don't see a future between us?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry. Goodnight, Jessica."

She croaked as Trevor turned back to his house, locking the door behind him.

Jessica stood in front of his house for a minute before she managed to turn and walk back to her own car. She was able to drive without crying for ten minutes before she broke down in the parking lot of a café beside the local mall. She cried and cried till her eyes leaked dust, as she couldn't find the motivation to drive away.

Pulling out her phone, she called Ryan. He'd rush over, climb into the passenger seat, and hug her as she cried. She needed someone; she couldn't be alone. Yet after thirty seconds, her phone went straight to voicemail. Alone in her car, she cried harder.

Once she gained control of her breathing, she wiped her eyes and exited the car, entering the small café. A few people glanced at her as she walked in, but no on stared at her for long. She waited in line behind a short man with groomed black hair, tan skin, and a stylish outfit of well fitted jeans and a silver jacket. The boy grabbed his coffee and spun around, jumping slightly when he locked eyes with Jessica.

"Hey, Dante," she sniffled before walking past him to order a small decaf coffee.

"Jessica," he murmured. Unable to help himself, he asked, "Are you alright?"

She shook her head and dragged her feet to the pickup counter. "Trevor just broke up with me. And out of nowhere too." She glanced at him, Dante staring back at her in shocking confusion. "That's how I'm feeling," she said as she pointed at his face. Sighing, she ran her hand through her hair. "I just don't get it. I really thought he was thinking about marriage, too. He's been so jumpy about graduating and talking about how excited he is to move out of his parent's house and be free. Each time he did" – she stared at her left hand – "he'd grab my hand. I always assumed that meant he was excited about spending our future together." She whimpered. "I guess not."

Though Dante heard every word she spoke, the only words he fixated on were Trevor just broke up with me. He knew how hard it must have been for Trevor to muster up the courage to break up with Jessica the day after he told him he didn't want to see him until he broke up with her. His heart pumped quickly as he thought about just how much Trevor loved him. He loved him just as much, more if it was even possible.

Jessica's name was called, and she grabbed her coffee from the barista, thanking her. "I just don't understand what I did wrong."

"It wasn't you," Dante blurted.

She shot her head to him, narrowing her eyes on him. "And how do you know?"

"Because...it couldn't have been you." He exhaled. "Maybe he thinks you would do better in Notre Dame and doesn't want you to feel like you missed your chance by following him to business school in Chicago. You're a really talented cheerleader, and you made it to Notre Dame on scholarship. That's a once in a lifetime opportunity. You shouldn't miss out on it by chasing some guy. I bet you're going to thrive in college, and this break is just the thing you need."

Deep down, Jessica knew he was right. She did want to go to Notre Dame and become a cheerleader. It'd take a while to climb the ranks, but they wanted her, and she wanted to go. The only reason she was willing to not go was because she wanted to be close to Trevor. She loved him with all her heart, still did. But with them now broken up, she was free to leave.

However, there was still something off about him breaking up with her with still a couple more months left in the school year. If he truly loved her, he would have hung on longer and wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before leaving her and telling her to go. There had to be another reason why he broke up with her.

Jessica smiled at Dante and gave him a one armed hug, not wanting to risk dropping her coffee on him. "Thank you for cheering me up. It does make it a little better." Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she slid it out to see Ryan was calling her. "I have to go. Thanks for talking. With your good karma, I'm sure you'll find someone incredible soon."

"Thanks?" Dante said as Jessica left the café, waving goodbye to him.

As much as he wanted to believe he would get good karma, he knew he was going to hell for what just happened.

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