Knowing Me, Knowing You

Rock Me

Xander and Trevor were always the last ones to leave the locker room after swim practice. As co-captains, it was their job to make sure the locker room was kept clean after each practice. Plus, it gave them a chance to talk. For the first time throughout all four years of high school, the two didn't have any classes together. It sucked, since they were best friends. They knew each other's deepest secrets.

"Missy's outside," Trevor said as he walked back into the locker room, tossing his towel into the bin. The moment he saw Xander smirk, he said, "If you like her so much, why don't you make her your girlfriend?"

"It wouldn't work out," he stated. "I like Missy a lot. She's a great person, but..."

"You don't see a future with her."

"What we have now is fine. I like how we can keep things casual, and she doesn't expect anything from me. She's the only person who doesn't expect anything from me," he explained. "Right now, I need to focus on swimming. The season's almost over, and I need to get a scholarship. We both do."

Trevor stared at the floor.

"Being with Missy means that I can focus on my swimming. If we were to officially start going out, then I'd have to put more of my focus on her."

"What about after this season. Then are you going to make things official?"

Xander didn't say anything.

"Do you even want to be in an actual relationship anymore?"

Xander shook his head. "Not right now. What I need now is a friend-"

"With benefits."

"So what? She needs the same thing. She has all her cheer stuff going on right now. She doesn't have time for a relationship either, and her season is far longer than ours."

"So that's it then? You're just going to lead her on?"

"I'm not leading Missy on."

"All the cheerleaders know it. Jessica is really worried about her. She keeps talking about how she's depressed whenever you turn her down."

Xander hated to be guilted like that. When he began sleeping with Missy, he told her that he didn't want to date her. Every girl he'd ever dated he stopped being friends with him after. There was too much pressure when it came to dating, but what he had with Missy took nothing at all. Everything was simpler with her. There were no dates, no obligations. They took turns on who was going to get what they wanted that day, but it was all good fun. Fun he needed to have.

Since Xander did date a lot of girls, he was sure Missy felt somewhat rejected. She had asked him out before, but he liked being friends with her. They had a nice relationship, one where they could talk like normal friends and not make things weird after sex. He liked the way their relationship worked, and he made it clear to her that that was what he needed. If it ever seemed like Missy was beginning to fall for him, Xander would stop and take a step back. The only reason they continued to sleep together was because she asked for it and knew what she was getting into. She knew what Xander wanted, so she either had to accept it or decline it.

"I told her what I wanted. She's the one who keeps coming back and asking for sex. If she's beginning to fall for me, then I will step back and give her the space she needs." He glanced at the door and sighed. "She deserves to be with someone who is going to treat her right. When she meets that person, she should go after him."

Trevor playfully pouted at Xander. "Are you going to be okay if that happens?"

"Yes," he laughed. "Like I've said, this is just for fun. The moment we stop, that's it. I'm not going to go look for someone else to fuck."

"This just proves that Missy is special to you."

"She is. Just not in the way you're describing."

Once they were sure the locker room was clean, the two exited and greeted Missy. She leaned against the wall, dressed in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. She smiled at Trevor and high-fived him as he walked away from the two. She crossed her arms as she faced Xander and said, "I'm meeting someone in an hour."

"A date?" he said, perking up. "Good for you."

"I wouldn't be meeting you right now if it were a date," she chuckled. "No, one of my friends is coming over, but it's my day, and I know what I want."

Xander slipped his shirt back over his head and smiled at Missy. She blushed and glanced away, embarassed. She always felt slightly embarassed after sleeping with Xander, as well as depressed, but there was an entirely different reason for that.

"I always love it when you do that to me," she murmured.

"It's cause I actually enjoy doing it."

"Does anyone else enjoy it?"

"You know I'm not sleeping with anyone but you. The rumors aren't true," he sighed.

"That's not what I meant," she quickly stated. "I was more curious if you've done it to someone else, and they wound up liking it too."

"Nope. You're the first I've done it to."

She blushed. "I feel special."

"You are special," he smiled. "You're great."

"Then why won't you go out with me?" She didn't mean to blurt it out. It wasn't something she was just supposed to come out and say, especially like that. She knew how Xander felt regarding their arrangement, and she knew right away what he was going to say.

"Missy, I've told you how I feel."

"I know."

"Are you falling for me again?"

She didn't want to lie to him. "Sorta."

"Then we should stop."

Missy knew why he was saying that. He didn't want to be in a serious relationship, and if he dated her, he'd be done with her in two weeks. Their relationship would never be the same again. She didn't want that either, but she still held onto the hope that he would one day turn around and say that he loved her. She hoped he would one day confess to her. She hoped to one day properly confess to him without the fear of being regarded as disgusting. She knew he wouldn't think of her any differently, but it was still a scary thought. And she hoped he would be in love with her before she could tell him.

"I'm sorry, Missy," he said and exited the locker room, tossing their towel in the bin on the way out.

It's fine, she thought. In a few weeks, he'd have dated someone new, she'd have claimed she was over him, and then things would go back to normal.

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