Temporary [H.S. || A.U.]

Chapter 16

I'ma stop singing this song because
I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high

I'm surprised but I'm also not surprised by how Grayson reacted to seeing me with her aunts and mum.

Grayson has given me no reason to doubt her character. She hasn't judged me once.

But for a brief moment there I thought she would be mad that my nails were now painted and I was looking a bit, I guess you could say girly. I don't like to call it that, though. Bothers me how everyone makes everything so gender based.

I couldn't help being scared there for a moment, though. Just another demon from my past trying to get in my head.

I learned in therapy that I have to think about it that way.

My anxiety always tries to rear its ugly head in the way of everything for me. Which, frankly, is bloody exhausting.

But as I walk upstairs with Grayson, I start some of the exercises I learned in therapy so that I don't tumble into a self pity or negative spell.

Three things I'm thankful for, I think to myself. I have a great family, I have financial stability, I'm healthy.

Good job, Harry. Feeling better already and starting to not focus on the trigger.

Three positive things going on in your life right now, I think this time. My work presentation went well last week, I'm getting to spend time with Grayson, yesterday Grayson told me she missed me when we didn't spend time together for most of the day.

I feel my heart rate start to calm down, thankfully.

Three self affirmations, I start the last exercise. I'm smart, I'm understanding, and I'm worthy of happiness.

"So, take off your glasses so I can wash this face mask off of ya." Grayson says to me when we enter the bathroom.

I do as she tells me, taking my glasses off and setting them on the bathroom counter while she wets a washcloth.

I may be nearly blind without my glasses on, but I can still see her struggling to reach up to clean off my face because of how much shorter she is than me. "Squat down, you're so damn tall." She huffs in frustration when she rises to her tippy toes to try and clean off my forehead.

I snort out a laugh at how adorable she is trying to reach up so high. She is nearly a foot shorter than me. "Here," I say as I reach out to grab her hips and pick her up to sit her on the bathroom counter.

"Ope," Grayson exclaims in surprise from my sudden action.

But it's my turn to be surprised when I feel her pull me closer and slot me between her legs.

She has been getting a lot more, I guess you could say, touchy with me recently. I really like it, I'm not going to even try and lie to myself about the fact. But I don't want to let myself think that it means anything. I'm sure most of the time it's just to keep up the fake relationship facade.