Dear Theodosia: blow us all away (philidosia)

7: Burn

Warning: self harm involved in this chapter

"The Reynolds Pamphlet! Have you read this? Have you ever seen somebody ruin their own life? His poor wife!" Jefferson shouts from his podium.

Philip feels dizzy. How could his Father do this to them? To his mother?

With Jefferson's last words echoing in Philip's ears, Philip takes off running towards their house, dragging Angie and Theo behind him.

"We've gotta find mom!" He pants.

New tears leak out of Angie's eyes, "I'm really worried about her!"

"I know! That's why we need to find her!"

They run as fast as they can to their house and when they reach it, they can hear shouting inside. Philip turns to Theodosia and gives her a quick hug before turning to go inside.

He cautiously opens the door and steps inside. He follows the shouting to the parlor and when he enters the room, he has to duck to avoid getting hit by a vase. It smashes on the wall behind his head.

Standing in front of him is his Aunt Angelica, shouting profanities at his father. His mother stands behind her, her face expressionless. Philip watches as Angelica grabs another vase and hurls it at his father.

"How could you do this?" she screams, "what is wrong with you Alexander?!"

His mother doesn't even flinch as another vase smashes the wall besides Alexander, just barely missing his face. His father falls down onto his knees, crying, "Eliza please forgive me! I never meant for this to happen!"

His mothers face contorts for a minute at the sight of his tears, but it quickly hardens again.

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Alexander. How dare you beg for her forgiveness! You don't deserve her or her forgiveness!" Angelica spits at him. His mother reaches behind her and grabs another vase, expressionlessly handing it to Angelica. Angelica hurls the vase at him, and this time, as it smashes against the wall, a shard bounces off and cuts his cheek. "I hope you're finally satisfied Alexander!" She shouts, then her and Eliza leave the room.

"My son," Alexander says weakly, "Could you please get me a cloth for my cheek?"

Philip can't even open his mouth, he is so angry. He just turns around and walks out of the room, then sinks down onto the floor in the hallway, burying his face in his hands.

"Angie?" he can hear his father ask, "my daughter, please."

It is silent for a minute before Angie speaks, "What you have done is unspeakable. As of now I am no longer your daughter." Philip is surprised at the venom in her voice. Angie is always kind and always tries her best to not hurt people's feelings. Philip is glad that she decided not to spare their father.

Philip can hear his father crying in the other room. The door opens and Angie steps out into the hallway.

"Let's go find mother," she says.

They go upstairs into their parents bedroom and find their mother sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. She is sifting through a pile of letters, tears silently making their way down her face.

Philip and Angie sit down on the bed, watching her for a moment. After a minute, their mother looks up at them and speaks, "I saved every letter that your father wrote me. They seemed so romantic. Now that I reread them though, I realize they weren't so romantic. He's just obsessing over his legacy. He's so paranoid how everyone perceives him that his sentences almost border on senseless." Eliza laughs bitterly. "And now I'm going to burn them. Burn the memories, the letters that might have redeemed him." She throws a letter into the fire, watching it burn for a moment. She laughs, "let them burn." Her laughter soon turns to tears.