Dear Theodosia: blow us all away (philidosia)

24: Broken

T/W: Self harm, Rape

Theodosia reaches for Philip. She's reaching and reaching, but he's too far away. Philip pushes her hands away anyways. 

"Stop," he says, " don't touch me." Philip backs away from her.

Theo's eyes fill with tears, "I'm so sorry Pip, can I please just explain to you?" You don't deserve him slut. Theodosia whirls around. Who said that? She can't see anyone so she turns back towards Philip.

He's backing out of the room, tears filling his eyes. It breaks Theodosia's heart to see him crying and know she's the reason.

You're a stupid bitch and you deserve to die. What kind of person does this? You hurt everyone around you. Everyone would be better off without you.

Theo's eyes fill with tears and she feels like she's been punched in the stomach. Who's whispering those horrible things in her ears?

"Philip wait! Please just let me talk to you!" Theodosia cries as Philip turns around. She's crying hard now.

Why should he let you talk to him? You're a dirty whore that deserves to die.

Theodosia sobs, covering her ears.

Philip runs out of the room and Theo sinks onto the ground, her hands still covering her ears.

"Hey, Theodosia are you okay?" Angelica asks softly, kneeling down next to Theo.

Don't let her help you. Don't let anyone help you. You'll only hurt them. If you want to keep your loved ones safe, you need to push them away.

"Go away!" Theodosia screams, and Angie flinches as if she's been slapped.

"I'm sorry Theo, I was just trying to help!"

You don't deserve her help or her love you bitch. Make her go away before she gets really hurt.

"I said get out!" Theodosia screams, "I don't want your help! Haven't you done enough? Get out of here!"

Angie claps her hand over her mouth, holding back a sob and runs out of the room.

Theodosia hates that she was so cruel to Angelica, but it was the only way to protect her.

That's right, you did the right thing. The best thing for everyone would be if you just died. You're a slut who ruins everything, no one here would care if you were gone. No one loves you. Not even your father.

Theodosia sobs then starts gathering up her things. She runs out of the room, crying, and out the front door. Once on the streets, Theodosia doesn't stop running until she reaches her house. People call out to her, but she ignores them. They don't really care about her anyways, they don't want to help her. They only want to help themselves.

That's right bitch, you're catching on now.

When Theodosia reaches home, she runs up the stairs to her bedroom, ignoring her father's calls, and locks the door.

Listen to me carefully bitch. You're a stupid, fat, slut and nobody cares about you, so here's what you're going to do. Grab that glass off your desk.

Theodosia crosses the room, almost as if she's in a trance, and grabs the glass.

Good, now break it.

Theodosia lets the glass slip out of her fingers and watches it shatter, entranced. Pieces of glass fly across the floor and Theo kneels down among them.