At 17, Candyce's small worldview is maginifed when her big brother, Ace, invites her into his world as punishment. Ace may have been an overbearing big brother at home, but in the streets he was feared and respected as a young drug dealer, proving h...
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Chapter 45
Holding the gun in my hand does the opposite of what I thought it would. I thought it would make me feel the power I saw in Ace's eyes when he killed Gecko. The same power I once feared, I now envy. With the gun in my palm, all I feel is panic.
It's been two days now. Two days since Tory's funeral. Two days since Munch told me we can't be friends anymore. I'm still hurt by how easy it was for him to let me go, but there's nothing I can do about it. What's done is done. That chapter of my life closed when we put Tory in the ground. My only concern now is what lies ahead.
Despite all the other bullshit I went through with Curry, I never stopped fantasizing about what I'll do to Guiterrez if I get the chance. There's a bullet with that bitch's name on it. The best part is that she won't see it coming.
Just like Tory didn't see it coming.
Days after seeing his body stiff in a casket, it should be easy for me to imagine that the red Coke cans are Guiterrez' head. And while that fury and grief lives within me, so does the old Candyce.
I think back to what I told Reese when we first met:
All the times I seen a gun, it was either pointed at me or someone I love.
I can't seem to shake the memory of how helpless I felt when Angel put a gun to my head for the first time. As if that wasn't traumatic enough, Curry just refreshed my memory. So while I got a lot of reasons to pull a trigger, a small part of me just wants to drop the gun and hide behind Caesar.
I may be able to do that now that the threat is gone, but that wasn't an option when I needed him the most.
No one's gonna' save me but myself.
Keeping that in mind, I tighten my shaky fingers around the handle of the gun.
"How it feel?" Caesar asks.
I look up at him. The wind blows strands of curly hair into my face. I squint my eyes as I push my hair back with my free hand.
"Heavy," I say.
"Not too heavy, huh?" Caesar asks.
I don't know why he asked since he's already reaching out to take it from me.
I pull my hand back.
"It's good. I can handle it," I say.
"You sho? 'Cause that 9 ain't the only gun in the world. I brought smaller ones for you to test out too," Caesar says.
I glance at the gun in my hand.
"This the one Curry put to my head right?" I ask.
Caesar swallows. On the rare occasion that I do bring up the kidnapping, he gets visibly uncomfortable. I guess he don't like to think about it either.
