Fighting For What's Missing

6.

William

I can hear Agnes humming in the back seat. When she messed up and forgot the lyrics, she would stop, take a moment then start all over again. I wish I knew what song she was humming, I don't know why, but I just do. This is exactly why we're going to the police station a day earlier than we should, I already care about this kid too much.

Agnes is drifting in and out of sleep when we arrived. I give her a second to wake up then carry her inside.

"Mr. Granger?" A woman waiting at the front desk asks when we approached her. She's not a cop, she's wearing a dark navy blue suit, maybe a detective or something. I nod, putting down Agnes. "We talked on the phone this morning, I'm Ms. Spencer. I'm with child services."

"Yeah, I remember." I shake her hand, and Agnes clings to my leg.

Spencer peers down at Agnes with a big smile. "Hi, Agnes, how are you feeling?"

Still clinging to my leg, she reaches up and holds my hand. "She doesn't talk much," I tell Spencer.

"She needs to. Anges, we need to ask you some questions about your parents."

Agnes squeezes my hand. "Can I go with her?" I ask. Spencer glances back at the officer behind the desk, he nods and she turns back to me.

"Sure."

I pick up Agnes, then follow Spencer and the officer down a hall. Agnes buries her face into the crook of my neck, her tiny arms wrapped around me tightly. With each step I take, my feet grow heavier, a sudden weight on my chest grows too much to bear. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Agnes deserves someone better than me.

We stop and the officer opens a door and I follow Spencer inside. It's a child's playroom. The officer closes the door and remains standing by it as Spencer takes a seat at the small table. I try to put Agnes down, but she whimpers and tightens her arms around me. "Agnes..." I look around and spot her favorite games. "Look, it's Candy Land." Her grip tightens. "Agnes, they just need to ask you a few questions."

Her hold loosens.

I sit down on the small chair made for children and pull Agnes away from me. She stands in front of me. I reach behind me, grab Candy Land, and hand it to her. She pointlessly fixes her bangs as she reaches in the box and fishes out the green player.

"Agnes?" Spencer says softly. "Do you happen to know where your mother is or how to contact her?"

Agnes shakes her head, keeping her eyes on the green figure in her hands. She leans into me and places the toy on my knee. She's uncomfortable. There's a little voice in the back of my head telling me to get her out of here and take her home. I crack my neck, my body stiffening. I'm losing this battle with myself.

"What about your father?" Spencer asks, and Anges shakes her head again. Spencer sighs, glancing at the officer then focusing on Agnes again. "Can you tell me their names?"

"She doesn't know," I say. "Her last name is Denshale, though."

"Yes, you informed me when we talked before." She looks through her notes. "Mr. Granger, can you explain to me why you don't have the mother's information."

"She's my girlfriend's friend."

"What's your girlfriend's name?"

"Julia Thorson."

"And where is she? Why are you caring for the child and not her?"

I sigh. Agnes looks at me, worried coloring her eyes, and I pick her up and place her on my leg. "Julia doesn't like kids," I explain. "She only said yes to babysitting for the money" I'm so sorry, Agnes.

"And clearly she's grown attached to you," Spencer notes. "Which is going to make this whole situation more difficult." I instinctively hold Agnes closer to me. They're going to take her. "Mr. Samuel?" The officer step closer.

"No!" Anges cries and throws her arms around me. Something in me breaks. I never want to hear her make that sound again.

"Agnes, we just want to ask you some questions by yourself," Spencer says.

"Can you give us a minute?" I ask her as Agnes squirms in my arms like a fish out of water. What's wrong with her? I'm holding her, I'm not trying to pull her off, can't she see that?

"It won't help her, Mr. Granger." The sympathy in Spencer's eyes makes my blood boil, she doesn't understand.

"Agnes, I'll be right outside the door," I whisper to her.

"Mr. Granger?" The officer reaches for Agnes. I shut my eyes, I can't watch this. My body turns to stone as the officer tries to peal Agnes off me. She's breathing heavy, fighting tears I think. Her nails bury deeper into my skin the farther away she's pulled from me.

I jump up from the small chair the second Agnes is detached from my body and dart out of the room. I'm so sorry, Anges, I repeat in my head as I pace back and forth in the tiny hall. She's not crying, but it feels like it in my heart. Why did this happen? I was fine before I met Anges. I was fine before I started to care about her.

The officer swiftly steps out of the room. "She's fine."

"No, she's not." I continue to pace. I can't do this. I was worried sick about her when I was working, that was when I knew I had to turn her in, I didn't want to feel that. That fucking feeling. But now I welcome it. I don't want to lose her. If it hurts this much to just leave her in a room, I don't want to imagine what it would feel like when they take her away from me. "There has to be something I could do," I stop and face the officer. "I can...foster her, right?"

"Getting your fostering license can take three to six months, six for most, a year for some."

A year for me and this fucker knows it.

Would I actually foster her? If yes, then what? I adopt her? I literally just accepted the thought of caring for her, now I'm ready to be her father? Am I ready for that?

Agnes

"Sweetie?" The woman-I forgot her name-stares at my face intensely. I don't like her. I want Will here. I should make a run for the door, I'm closer to it. "I need you to think really hard, did your dad ever call your mom by her name? Think."

Will. I crawl at my thighs. Why did he leave me here?

"When was the last time you saw your dad?"
"Do you have any grandparents?"
"Do you have any aunts or uncles?"
"What was the last thing your mother said to you?"
"Did she mention leaving you with Julia Thorson or William Granger for long?"
"Did she said she was coming back for you?"

She's not coming back.

The lady sighs, I'm annoying her. I always annoy women more than men.

I hear her get up from her seat and cross the room. The door opens...I should run. "She's not talking. Mr. Granger, you..." her voice fades when she shuts the door behind her.