Fighting For What's Missing

22.

William

"Wake up!" I flinch when something-a pillow or a rolled towel-is dropped on my face. I open my eyes to see Charlie towering over me. I growl at him as I roll over to my other side, facing away from him. "I've been trying to wake your ass for half an hour."

"Work?" I mumble.

"No...Agnes."

"What?!" I sit up. "Is she okay? What happened?"

"She called," he tosses my phone on my lap, and I snatch it. "She didn't say why, she just did." I'm about to call Agnes when Charlie places his hand over the screen. I glare up at him. "Didn't you say she starts school today?"

I move the phone from under his hand and read the time. 8:49. "Shit. Why didn't you wake me?"

"Didn't you just hear me before? I said I was trying to wake your ass for half an hour."

"I just need two minutes to call her, then we can go to work." I jump up before he could say anything and rush to the bathroom.

"Imma get you clothes!"

"Thank you!" I yell over my shoulder, shutting the door behind me. Please, pick up. Please, pick up. Please, pick up, I quietly pray as the phone rings.

"Hello?" Tisha answers.

"Please don't tell me I'm late," I rush out.

"I'm leaving the school now."

"No! You can't leave her, stay with her." I never thought I would be begging Tisha to stay with Agnes, then again I never thought I would care so much about a kid.

"Will, she's fine."

"Can you go inside and hand her the phone? I just need to talk to her for two minutes." I know she doesn't like sleeping alone in Tisha's house, but I'm sure she woke up crying because I wasn't there. I need to see if she's alright.

"I don't think you can."

"Tisha-" I lean forward, placing my elbows on the counter, and tug at my roots "-please."

"Will," she breathes, and I grind my teeth, lifting my head. My eyes dart to the cut on my upper cheek. Julia got me worse than I thought, especially with a key. Gloria thinks it's going to scar because she didn't clean it in time, I think it's going to scar because Julia has a talent for marking people. I'm still not over the fact that she kicked me out. "Call the school," Tisha continues, "say you're her uncle and there's some sort of emergency, they'll let her talk to you."

"Okay."

"I'll send you the number."

I thank her then hung up. I receive the number and call the school right away. I stick with Tisha's story; I'm Agnes' biological uncle and I'm only checking on her. The woman had to call Tisha to confirm that I'm allowed to be in contact with Agnes, but it worked. While I was waiting for Agnes, Charlie gave me a pile of clothes; jeans, a gray and black flannel shirt, and underwear that still had their tags.

I hold my phone to my head with my shoulder as I pull off my shocks.

"William?" Agnes' small voice fills my ear. She sounds so fragile.

"Agnes," I sigh in relief. "Kid, I'm so sorry. Please, next time tell Charlie to wake me up."

"Okay." She sounds so depressed.

"Agnes..." suddenly my head is spinning like a wheel and my body's a thousand pounds ever. I sit on the floor and press my back against the door. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm very tired."

"Yeah, Tisha told me about last night." I swallow the urge to apologize, it just doesn't feel right.

"I didn't mean to wake her."

"It's fine, Agnes, Tisha's..." I gulp, "um, Tisha's there for you." Add saying that about my mother to the list I never thought I would do.

"Mm," she hums, and I can picture her shrugging. "You come back...Friday, right?" There's hope building in her voice.

"Yep. Listen, I know you don't like your room or being alone in mine, but I need you to be brave. You're already so brave, you just need to be a little more braver, and I promise you, in time, your fear will vanish completely."

"Okay."

"Alright..." my throat begins to close up, "You have to go back to class. I'm gonna give Tisha the number for my job, and you can call it after school, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later, Agnes."

"Later, William," she whispers, then the line goes dead. I'm quietly grateful she didn't say bye, I can't stand saying bye to her.

*******

It took more energy than I thought it would to get myself off the floor. I send Tisha the number then changed and nearly fell because my head was still spinning. Charlie somehow knew about my dizziness and forced me to eat a bagel and drink a protein shake. I didn't fight him about it because lately, I've only been in an annoying situation for him; at about one in the morning, I woke him up by pounding on his door then asked him if I could stay for a few days. Now I'm making him late for work and he's the freaking boss.

"Can I ask you something?" Charlie asks, breaking the silence. We're only a few minutes from work.

"Shoot," I shrug then press my temple to the car window.

"What's your deal with Agnes? She's safe and happy with Tisha yet you continue to...I dunno, go crazy. I've never seen you like this before."

"Well, thanks," I mumble. But then I see where he's coming from, I'm not me anymore. I clear my throat as I sit up in my seat. "She's only seven years old and already everyone she knows has either walked out of her life or hit her. I know she's safe with Tisha but that doesn't mean I can just forget about her. She needs to know that someone's going to be there for her."

"And that's you? You're gonna adopt her?"

"I...y-yeah."

"You don't sound that sure, Will," he looks at me through the corner of his eye. I hate it.

"When the time comes, I'll adopt her, but until then..." I slouch in my seat again, "I don't want to talk about it."

What's wrong with me? I've accepted the thought of being Agnes' father, why do I stutter and shut down when I talk about adopting her? It's the same shit.

"And I don't go crazy," I snap.